asi es mi vida

Wake Up America

2008-08-27T00:36:00.001-04:00

Cult of Personality

2008-03-22T21:26:00.002-04:00

Look into my eyes, what do you see?
Cult of personality
I know your anger, I know your dreams
I’ve been everything you want to be
I’m the cult of personality

—-Living Colour, 1989

Bitch is Back!

2008-03-05T02:20:00.002-05:00

She's still in it!

bitch is the new black

2008-02-26T00:41:00.003-05:00

This is why Tina Fey is the funniest and smartest woman in america...

Love Kills

2008-02-12T22:06:00.002-05:00

Theme Song from Sid and Nancy, one of my favorite love stories....

Happy Valentines Day

A year in the life...

2008-01-30T22:20:00.000-05:00

A Special Message from Ron and Nancy

2008-01-25T22:47:00.000-05:00

From one of the best TV shows of the 80's: Night Flight.

Year in (P)review

2008-01-04T19:56:00.000-05:00

Damn, it's like 2008 already. It's time for a meme! This end of year/start of new year meme was taken from Serotoninrain

1. Will you be looking for a new job? Uhm, no. My sugar mama provides.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship? Again, my sugah mama gives me all that I need.

3. New house? No, we luuve our 500 sq ft apt!

4.Where have you been? SF, SA, NYC, Nashville, Little Rock, Las Vegas

5.Where do you want to go? NYC, Chicago, San Diego, LA, Miami, Las Vegas, Europe!

6. What will you do different in 2008? laugh more

7. New Years resolution? i never make these..since I tend to break them as soon as I make them

8. What will you NOT be doing in 2008? voting republican

9. Major thing on your calendar? My 40th in november...sigh

10. What would you like to see happen differently? iraq, the destruction of the environment, immigrants/gays/people of color becoming scapegoats

11. What about yourself will you be changing? my less than active physical lifestyle

12. Will you be nicer to the people you care about? I hope so. They will always let me know when I am not

13. Will you start or quit drinking? yes!

14. Will you do charity work? Perhaps more time than money

15. Will you go to bars? yes!

16. Will you be nice to people you don’t know? I live in DC where rudeness has been elevated to an artform. Being nice is the first thing to go. But I'll try to be nice.

17. Do you expect 2008 to be a good year for you? YES! I want to pass my comprehensive exams this summer so that I can go on internship!

18. How much did you change from this time last year till now? I hope there have been changes in the way I view the world and how the world views me. I think I am a little more mellow, but I know my neuroticisms keep me edgy and drive my gf crazy. It's a process, I guess.

19. Do you plan on having a child? If my biological clock rang, I didn't hear it. *shrug* Kids are nice-- from a distance and have been potty trained.

20. What song will remind you of 2007? rehab...i said no, no, no!

21. Favorite link(s) of 2007? Jezebel

22. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now? YES! I am always looking to expand my circle

23. Who was the best new person you met? There have been more than one person that I am happy to have met and hope to get to know a little better this year!

24. How did you spend NYE 2008? at the beach, with a fire, champagne, flowers, wishes and love

25. One prayer for 2008? not a prayer but a mantra...obama, obama, obama

Aunt Barbara Xmas Special!

2007-12-12T23:49:00.000-05:00

Good Wholesome Entertainment!

Entering Oblivion

2007-11-16T15:19:00.000-05:00

This weekend I'm turning 39. Yeah, thirty-frigging-nine. Very, very close to four-oh. How did this happen? I mean I was like 25 yesterday! Twenty five was 14 years ago! Clinton was barely in office! There was a thing called email that I heard about. When I was 25 I rented an apartment on the crappy side of town, worked 3 jobs (and in school), didn't own a car and hoped that when I got older things would be different. Let's see, I'm 38.99 years old, a Clinton is running for president, rent an apartment in a "gentrified" (crappy) side of town, unemployed (but in school), don't own a car and I hope that when I get older things will be different.

Thankfully, I am happier. I have a great relationship, I have my health (i think), I have my friends and I am three semesters away from graduating! Thirty-nine still sounds young. I will hold on to the thirties until it's last gasping breath. I am gonna squeeze out as much juice out of that 39th year until it's dry. I'm probably complain about how my last year of my thirties went so fast.

My official birthday song this year...

Rare Earth "i just want to celebrate"

Gay Trouble

2007-10-02T20:25:00.000-04:00

I remember watching my first John Waters film at my friend Keith's house under the influence (of what I don't remember).I love how he takes what is gross and obscene and puts in the open for all to see and appreciate it for what it is a part of life. Anyway, here's a recent quote...

"I don't want to get married and I don't want to go into the army and all that stuff, though I understand people's right to want that. I am for gay trouble. I like gay troublemakers. I am most gay when I am in a voting booth." (via boing boing)

Here's a little gay trouble

Gimmie Gimmie!

2007-09-14T21:15:00.000-04:00

Britney decided to redo her act...enjoy!

End of Summer Rants and Raves

2007-08-31T20:52:00.000-04:00

Yep, it's the end of the summer and it's time for my semi-annual R & R's.

RAVE: Gay marriages in IOWA!
RANT: It only lasted a day.

RAVE: Rove out, Gonzo out, Snow out
RANT: Bush is still in

RAVE: Boing Boing, Gawker Empire, Perez
RANT: Drudge, WorldNetDaily, Freepers

RAVE: Amy, Beth, Catalina
RANT: Lindsay, Paris, Britney

RAVE: Screen on the Green, Folklife, Capital Pride
RANT: Metro, Murder, MPD

RAVE: SF, NYC, Vegas
RANT: No more money for travel

RAVE: My first APA conference
RANT: APA soft on torture

RAVE: My nephew starts college
RANT: I can't call him "little nephew" anymore

RAVE: Craig is busted!
RANT: He's not gay, he's not gay!

RAVE: IKEA LGBT (yes, T) positive commercials
RANT: E-Harmony commercials

RAVE: Logo/HRC presidential forum
RANT: Clinton, Obama, Edwards disappointing

RAVE: Big Girls Kick ASS!

caniculares dies (dog day diary)

2007-08-06T21:11:00.000-04:00

I've had 7 weeks of uninterrupted free time. I finished summer school in late June and unceremoniously quit my job a little more than a month ago. It's been an adjustment for me...I now have free time to read, to shop, to clean, to go to the gym and to be in a vegetative state if I wanted to. Although I shouldn't be, I am a little bored. I guess I am so used to a schedule (work, school, homework, etc.) that when I am left to my own devices...I shrug and ask "now what?" I suppose that's what retirees feel like when they go from being somebody who "had a life", to someone who have time to live.

I did travel this summer, we went to NYC and to SA. We also had my girlfriend's nieces (16 and 14) visiting. They were quite entertaining. They were disappointed that the National Mall did not have a Abercrombie and Fitch. I try to make things for my girlfriend a little easier at home since I have a little more free time. Now that I have joined the masses of the unemployed, the responsibility to bring home the bacon falls to my girlfriend, who is so gracious as we enter this phase of out life together. There should be a medal for spouses/partners of graduate students. She puts up with alot. I am a very, very lucky to have her in my life.

I devoured the last installment of the Harry Potter book. I have to say that Deathly Hallows wasn't her best book. Although the ending was what I expected, the epilogue seemed to be written in haste. One of my criticisms of the series is how this world that Rowling created is a sexist as the reader's world. It was frustrating that the females (esp. Hermione) were always playing second fiddle to the males.

The hottest days are here and the end of summer is near. I still have some items of my agenda to complete that I've been putting off, like cleaning my desk and others I am looking forward to like our trip to San Francisco and Las Vegas. I can't wait.

My Real Age

2007-07-30T13:51:00.000-04:00

I'm 26! Yay! How old are you?

Here's where you can find out!

Everything Old is New Again

2007-07-10T22:13:00.000-04:00

Somebody did a mash up of Gwen Verdon (Bob Fosse's choreography)in the 60's dancing to "walk it out"... go gwen!

bush bashes gays...again

2007-06-27T21:28:00.000-04:00

His poll numbers are in the nixon range!
The iraq policy is a total and utter failure!
His party doesn't trust you on domestic policy!
What's a pandering, idiot of a man gonna do?

He's gonna deny DC gays any rights of course!

Yep, I know you straight people can rest easy now knowing that I will be stripped of any legal rights of seeing my girlfriend if she's in the hospital. I'm sure ma and pa Darth Cheney are thrilled that their little grandchild's mommies have no legal status at all!

When will this shit ever end? America, have we no decency?!

8 random facts

2007-06-27T00:12:00.000-04:00

I've been tagged by the Meme Empress...Mags!

Here are 8 random facts about me that you may or may not know about me...

1. I was a "rides hostess" at Six Flags Great America. It was my summer job in HS and in college. I didn't have the glamorous job of roller coaster, we had the smaller (meaning, lamer) rides like the merry go round.

2. I have a brother who is gay...I was a little annoyed that even in this, he had to copy me!

3. I used to collect stamps. (Did I admit to that? )

4. When I was in the 6th grade I was involved in the "great taffy apple robbery". A couple of incorrigible 6th graders in my class stole a box of taffy apples from our school fundraiser and distributed the booty to all the class. Our priest Fr. O'Connell (yes, I was in a CATHOLIC school) found out and shamed us only a catholic would, invoking mary and the angels. The next day, I confessed my sins, in darkened confessional and asked for forgiveness. The priest (Fr. O'Connell, who else!) told me that my penance was 25 hail mary's and send anonymously the price of the total apples I took. So the next day, I took my borrowed 2 dollars (I gave a little extra, because I was really sorry) and sent the money in a envelope to the church with a note signed "anonymous" with my return address.(LOL) Thus, ended my life in crime.

5. I read entertainment weekly in the bathroom.

6. One of my guilty pleasures are james bond films.

7. I used to watch the 700 Club stoned.

8. When I was 7 years old, I had the biggest crush on Olivia Newton John. (the 70's -have -you-ever-been-mellow-version, not the recent botox version)

I love the internet

2007-06-24T21:40:00.000-04:00

The funniest thing I've seen in a while...

Happy Pride

2007-06-20T17:36:00.001-04:00

I took this from Perez Hilton.

blue moon

2007-06-01T21:01:00.000-04:00

I saw the blue moon last night on my way home. No, it wasn't blue but milky white, hazy from the heat. I like that we had another chance to see the moon. I seldom look up to the stars anymore. When I was a kid, I would go to the back yard at night, lie on the grass and watch the night sky. I don't have the opportunity to do that here. In fact, I don't know anyone with a lawn! I suppose I have to make due with stolen glimpses like this...

This was taken on my cell phone. Can you see the moon?

Anyway, I am back at school this summer. I'm required to take summer classes every semester. I'm cramming a semester's worth of work in 7 weeks. Then I will be off until September! I will be so frigging happy! I want to enjoy my little break with trips to the beach, travel to new york and being lazy!

My nephew graduated from HS this past week. He is my only nephew so it was a very special event. My GF and I decided to make the drive to Little Rock, yes in Arkansas. We stopped over to Nashville, where my brother and his BF live. We drove together, one big happy gay family to my sister's house in little rock. It was my girlfriend's first time hanging out with my siblings and my sister's extended family. I admire my GF's ability to mingle and connect with total strangers especially white people from Arkansas! She deserves a medal for that!

I can't end my post without saying something about my favorite sports team at the moment...
the SPURS! I love these guys! I was never a big basketball fan but this team makes me a fan. What I like about them is that they aren't your typical bling, hype, trash talk team. I suppose I like them alot because they play for a city that is predominately mexican. I have to tell you, to see a bunch of brown faces like these in the crowd on TV is quite thrilling.

The Jazz fans were a little less browner and a little more hostile.

I noticed that respect is very important for the spurs as it is for the mexican culture. Respeto is something to be cherished. I see that with the san antonio fans, the team and the coaches. The lack of it from the opposing teams is pretty evident. Maybe I am hypervigilant about these things but I can see it in even the way the announcers talk about the players. Whatever people say about this team, one thing is clear...they play for respect.

One more hurdle...

2007-04-15T19:02:00.000-04:00

I need to jump so that I can finish this semester. Damn, this was a hard semester. I had alot on my plate, school, work, externship...then somehow I had to find the time to fit in my relationship, my mental/physical health and my other aspects of my life. I have felt that I haven't had the time to really think about anything else other than school. It's an isolative (is that a word?) experience. Spending most of my time in my head gets a little tiring. I worry that I've lost the ability to enjoy myself without thinking about the next exam, the next paper, the next patient...But I am glad I have little indulgences like this blog that no one reads, my monthly Harper's and my time with my girlfriend. My girlfriend is wonderful. Being a "graduate widow" is not easy...I was one myself in my previous relationship. I often said that my ex and I had a three way relationship with law school...and she (law school) was a jealous mistress. I wanted this experience to be different for my girlfriend. We definitely have a better relationship than the either of the past ones. I am lucky. She keeps me present...she's a good egg.

I HEART Harvey
Here's a GREAT editorial from the NYT written by Harvey Firestein about the recent Imus affair.

"Our Prejudices, Ourselves"

AMERICA is watching Don Imus's self-immolation in a state of shock and awe. And I'm watching America with wry amusement.

Since I'm a second-class citizen -- a gay man -- my seats for the ballgame of American discourse are way back in the bleachers. I don't have to wait long for a shock jock or stand-up comedian to slip up with hateful epithets aimed at me and mine. Hate speak against homosexuals is as commonplace as spam. It's daily traffic for those who profess themselves to be regular Joes, men of God, public servants who live off my tax dollars, as well as any number of celebrities.

Read the rest, here, at Perez Hilton dot com (you read that right!).

random street art

2007-02-24T21:48:00.000-05:00

this is in my neighborhood...on the corner of harvard and 16th..

To all my chicano friends...

2007-02-14T13:51:00.001-05:00

El Rio's Valentine's Day Cards # 6, originally uploaded by El Rio.

Via boingboing.net

Sidewalk Politics

2007-02-10T21:05:00.001-05:00

Found at the corner of 14th and U streets...

rants and raves v1

2007-02-03T21:45:00.000-05:00

RAVE: I am busy, in the middle of my 2nd year of grad school, working part-time at children's hospital and at the externship in Baltimore.
RANT: Trying to keep up with school, working part-time and the externship!

RAVE: My girlfriend rocks my life. Literally.
RANT: I never get to see her (see first rant/rave)

RAVE: DC finally goes smoke free!
RANT: Walking through the clouds of smoke to get in the restaurant.

RAVE: gofugyourself, cursor, mentalfloss, thesuperficial, dailykos, boingboing
RANT: rupert murdoch, bill gates, RIAA

RAVE: Obama, Clinton, Edwards
RANT: Biden, Dodd, Kucinich

RAVE: clear, cold weather
RANT: no snow this season!

RAVE: Less than 30% approval rate for our dear leader!
RANT: another 716 days to endure

RAVE: Old friends rippling back into my life.
RANT: I wish I had time to write more about that

video of the day

Everybody Dance by Chic

Hang in there Molly!

2007-01-30T21:06:00.000-05:00

I HATE CANCER

From the Texas Observer...

We Love You Molly

Our beloved sister Molly Ivins is fighting for her life against cancer, and all we can do is try to send her even a fraction of the brillliance, joy and love she has given us for so many incomparable years.
This genuis daughter of Texas turmoil has stood alone for so long as a voice of clarity, wit, common sense and plain-spoken conscience that it’s hard to know even where to start.
Perhaps most important to remember is that she has not been just a writer. From her modest but gracious home in the heart of Austin, she has done anything but sit back and snipe with that unique penetrating wit of hers. She could have done it. She could have just gone to that keyboard every day, blown them all away, and built her national reputation from the sheer genius of an insulated ivory tower.
But Molly has always been a firm believer in hands-on non-violent combat, which in hands like hers is the ultimate weapon. She puts her heart and soul where her convictions are. She’s fought tooth and nail for The Texas Observer and whatever other worthwhile publications there are that can muster an audience in the Lone Star State. She’s worked with the great Jim Hightower in his climb to elected office. She supports candidates. She goes out of her way. She works hard. She makes her presence felt wherever she thinks it’ll do some good, no matter what the personal cost.

More here....

The year in the kaleidoscope

2007-01-05T21:18:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it's been a while hasn't it? The past year flew by, experiences going through a kaleidoscope--spinning and changing shape in front of my eyes. Once an experience comes in view it changes in front of me...know what I mean? Maybe it's my ever-shorter attention span or that I have too much happening to sit down and reflect. Sadly I haven't had alot of time to think about things, I've been in a reaction mode. It gets tiring. I spent (the short) holidays refueling and relaxing, but traveling to see relatives and friends brought another level of stress that I didn't expect. I never really got into the holidays, it was always less than satisfying... feeling the push and pull from different people and trying to balance your desires with the desires of others is not what I think is a good time. Frankly, I am glad they are over.
Anyway, my girl and I celebrate a whole year living together. Actually it's been pretty good. She tolerates my neuroticisms. It must be her RN background.
School has kicked my ass. It's the toughest year so far. I have a externship that is time consuming but really interesting. I am working with kids, actually neuropsychologically evaluating them. It's challenging. I have to think about my dissertation (yes, it's on the horizon). But before that, I have to take the comprehensive exams next year. It seems the hurdles are coming closer together. I have to take it day by day (or so they tell me). Sometimes I think I am getting too old for this. I turned 38 in november, greyer at the temples (I'm told it looks sexy). Almost 40, sounds scary but right, y'know?
I am happy that the dems are in power but frustrated that the republicans still rule. Not a flurry of snow in washington. It's really depressing me. The seasons are on strike.

Here are some of the rants and raves for the past year...

RAVE: Corretta Scott King, Ann Richards, James Brown are in a better place
RANT: Britney, Paris and Lindsay are still here

RAVE: The Democrats take the House and the Senate
RANT: Bush is still in office

RAVE: DC may get the vote this year
RANT: But that means that Utah will get a seat too

RANT: The Hussein fiasco becomes viral with 16 million hits
RAVE: Riverbend's entry calling this a lynching

RAVE: Red Hot Chili Peppers, BBC Radio 1, John Legend
RANT: Pearl Jam, Clear Channel, Justin Timberlake

video of the day....

Foo Fighters: All my Life

I want Candy

2006-11-15T21:41:00.000-05:00

Annabella was the hottest girl with a mohawk...

the House of Blues!

2006-11-08T17:40:00.001-05:00

Hey, at least I won't need sunblock...

2006-10-02T20:30:00.000-04:00

Third Level of Hell
the third circle, you find yourself amidst eternal rain, maledict, cold, and heavy. The gluttons are punished here, lying in the filthy mixture of shadows and of putrid water. Because you consumed in excess, you meet your fate beneath the cold, dirty rain, amidst the other souls that there lay unhappily in the stinking mud. Cerebus, a canine monster cruel and uncouth with his three heads and red eyes, dwells in this level. He growls and tears at the damned with his teeth and claws.

Dante's Inferno Test

Miss you Ann

2006-09-14T10:12:00.000-04:00

Ann Richards
RIP

"I am delighted to be here with you this evening because after listening to George Bush all these years, I figured you needed to know what a real Texas accent sounds like."

Canicula

2006-07-23T09:54:00.000-04:00

Canicula…
Is the Spanish word for ‘dog days’ of summer. You can literally feel it in the air. Muggy, hot, steamy, the sun is hazy and relenting. We just got a heat wave that was intense and a crime wave that just give people another reason to stay inside. The streets aren’t as lively, the traffic is slower, even the tourists look a like they would rather be somewhere else.
We hit the dog days of this administration; with worthless meetings and a hollow leader who is memorable for his lack of table manners and personal space. We have a war going on in the Middle East, a human tragedy of Iraq and a threatening North Korea…but we are worried about gay marriages. We are a lost people, still reliving the attacks of 9/11, unfocused and depressed. America, you have PTSD. We’re like the Vietnam vets who still wear their vests full of patches and work at the convenience store; takes antidepressants and drinks, who never fulfilled our potential, who can snap at any moment.

Canicula… I’ve entered my own personal dog days. I am so tired, I have a full load of summer classes, just started a new job at the children’s hospital working as a psychometrician. I am ending my other job really, really soon. So, 40 hrs a week of work and 3 grad courses, with a 2 weeks break in august. I sometimes think I am too old for this, working really hard, hardly having any free time. Then my girlfriend reminds me what it’s all about. I will say she is my saving grace. Always there to give me a kick in the pants! Thankfully, we do have some fun together. We had a nice time on the 4th of July—DC is a great place for the holiday, saw the fireworks with our friends at the national mall. My GF’s birthday was a week ago and we spent it at Rehoboth Beach, a cute little beach town in Delaware. It has an old fashioned boardwalk, nice little boutiques and lots and lots of gays and lesbians. Not bad for Delaware! Anyway, it was nice to get away and spend it with my girl.

Canicula… I recently learned that my ex-girlfriend is getting married, not a Massachusetts kind of marriage but a run of a mill heterosexual one. My first reaction wasn’t one really. I was kind of ambivalent about it. Then I started to think about it... I should have stayed ambivalent. I won’t get too personal (I do have homework to do) but I was reminded about this essay I read by Carla Trujillo, called interestingly enough “till men do us part”. I remember reading this during the relationship with my ex and having a feeling of foreshadowing. I remember reading the last paragraph

“ It’s been over a year since I wrote that letter to Becky. I haven’t heard a word from her. I don’t know if she got married and had the baby she always dreamed of. I don’t know if her father and her sweet grandma are still with us. I don’t know what her nephew is learning in school or what’s happening with her sister and brother. I don’t know anything anymore about Becky or her family I once adopted as mine. I’ve accepted the fact that Becky does not want me in her life. What’s really hard to accept is why.”

I closed the book and felt a chill down my spine.

vote for jack

2006-07-08T14:27:00.000-04:00

4 things

2006-06-18T21:06:00.000-04:00

A meme that I stole (can you steal a meme?) from Republic of T.

4 jobs you’ve had:

A "rides hostess" at Six Flags Great America
Video rental clerk
a reader of essays on standardized tests
sold men's ties at Marshall Fields

4 movies you could watch over & over:

4 places you’ve lived: (I only have 3!)

4 tv shows you love to watch:

Big Love
Sex and the City (guilty pleasure#1)
L Word (guilty pleasure #2)
Frontline

4 places you’ve been on holiday:

4 websites you visit daily:

4 of your favorite foods:

frosted flakes
fried chicken (can't have it often, sigh)
tacos (if I didn't put this down, my Mexican card would be revoked)
Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce served in the Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle paté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam

4 places you’d rather be:

Beach resort in Hawaii (I assume it's better than DC in the summer)
New York City with friends
Paris, Rome, London, Madrid (any of them)
happy, healthy and comfortable

4 lucky people to tag:

Opal
La gran Tirana
Hiptoniq
You reading this!

Head first

2006-06-17T19:44:00.000-04:00

Found this at the corner of harvard and 16th in my neighborhood. I think it's the same artist that did this.

sometimes when I am on the bus and I hear talking I only want to say this...

2006-06-06T16:30:00.000-04:00

in case you end up sleeping with me

2006-06-03T19:41:00.000-04:00

I am a tetherball

Find your own pose!

Bush is Number 1!

2006-06-03T14:06:00.000-04:00

Congratulations America! You elected the worst president in the last 60 years! What are you going to do to celebrate this achievement? Ban Gay marriage of course! God bless America!

Dear Mr. President

2006-05-16T16:16:00.000-04:00

Dear Mr. President
Come take a walk with me
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep
What do you feel when you look in the mirror
Are you proud?

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why

Dear Mr. President
Were you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
How can you say
No child is left behind
We're not dumb and we're not blind
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you bout hard work
Hard work Hard work
You don't know nothing bout hard work
Hard work Hard work
Oh, How do you sleep at night
How do you walk with your head held high
Dear Mr. President
You'd never take a walk with me
Would you?

We can't all be like La Tonya

2006-05-14T20:13:00.000-04:00

La Tonya
Originally uploaded by stripper_polaroids.

Real Mexican Included

2006-05-04T13:12:00.000-04:00

A Poem By Messitza
(check her site!)

Real Mexican Included

real mexican included with every enchilada
(or how to tell if a mexican if authentic)

so what if i were a mexican strapped with a gun?
you know, a bandido, an insurgente
a romanticized rebel with olive skin and piercing eyes.

or if i were this hardcore troubled youth
sureña chola gangstacita
with switchblade in the back pocket
and a crucifix around my neck.
would that be good?

how about if i was serving you
some of that real mexican food
un plato de cultural purity,
un plato de mexican monoculturalism
because of course all mexicans are the same
and so is the food.

what if i were the beautiful mexican woman
the one people write songs about
like a sexy mexican maid
a tijuana mama, a hot
blooded maria garcia chichitecameca
the kind that makes mexican women look h-o-t
in a strategically torn blouse and erect nipples
like almost dead
in the arms of a seriously muscular aztec warrior
at the foot of popocatepetl,
like any of those big tittied mexicanas
in those authentic taqueria calendars
or printed onto short sleeved t-shirts.

of course let's not mention the mexicans
who are whiter than the u.s.a.
or the indios who don't speak spanish
the black mexicans
the biggest city in the world kinda mexicans
the mexican jews
the messy mestizos.
because it's so much easier to talk about
real mexicans and
real mexican food
and real mexican crafts and
real mexican kitsch
and real mexicans for sale
special limited time offer!

Mission Accomplished

2006-05-01T13:54:00.000-04:00

From Think Progress..

	May 1, 2003	May 1, 2006
U.S. Troops Wounded	542	17,469
U.S. Troops Killed	139	2,400
Size of U.S. Forces	150,000	132,000
Size of Iraqi Security Forces	7,000-9000	250,500
Number of Insurgents	5,000	15,000-20,000
Insurgent Attacks Per Day	8	75
Cost to U.S. Taxpayers	$79 billion	$320 billion
Approval of Bush’s Handling of Iraq	75%	37%
Percentage of Americans who Believe The Iraq War Was “Worth Fighting”	70%	41%
Bush’s Overall Job Approval	71%	38%

La Queen Sucia Speaks Up

2006-04-13T11:25:00.000-04:00

I will say I haven't read Alisa's Valdez-Rodriguez' books. My impression she's like a Latina version of Terry McMillan. She was a journalist (like Terry McMillan) and wrote novels about women and relationships (like Terry McMillan). I don't know if she married a gay guy (like Terry McMillan). I'm sure if she read this she will probably say "read my books!" It's on my list, mkay? Anyhoo..

Alisa has become a cyber-chingona of late. On her blog called La Queen Sucia , she has taken to task xenophobes like Lou Dobbs (Slobbs) and ignorant people like internet pendejos Michael and Benita .

So, I'm glad like people like Alisa a speaking up and spreading knowledge.

La Marcha

2006-04-11T00:13:00.000-04:00

a collage of pictures I took at the March for Immigrant Rights...si se puede!

We are Not a Minority

2006-04-07T15:27:00.000-04:00

"We are Not a Minority"
Originally uploaded by Gilbert Estrada.

Just a friendly reminder...April 10, there will be actions all over the country in support of immigrant rights. March as though your life depended on it...

Con puro corazon

2006-04-01T17:24:00.000-05:00

On the corner of Soto & Cesar Chavez in East LA

funny money

2006-03-22T15:40:00.000-05:00

this is how much this blog is worth....

My blog is worth $67,744.80.
How much is your blog worth?

my luck, this thing is worth more than I make in a year...

Eye for an Eye leaves everyone blind

2006-03-20T10:55:00.000-05:00

48 year old father goes to Iraq for revenge…

But last April 11, a year and a day after his son was killed, Johnson told his Iraq-bound Georgia National Guard unit, the 48th Infantry Brigade, he was ready to join them. They ended up at this dustblown base in Iraq's far west, pulling escort duty for fuel convoys on the bomb-pocked desert highways from Jordan.
Why did he do it? The wiry lean Georgian, an easy-talking man with a boyish, sunburned face, tried to answer the question that won't go away.
"It's a lot of things combined," he said. "One, a sense of duty. I was pissed off at the terrorists for 9/11 and other atrocities. Second, I'd only trained. I wanted combat." And then, he said, "there's some revenge involved. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't."
"I don't really have love for Muslim people," Johnson said. "I'm sure there are good Muslims. I try not to be racist." Although he hasn't read the Quran, or spoken with Muslims, he has "heard" the Islamic holy book "teaches to kill Jews and infidels. And it's hard to love people who hate you."

Wow, sexism, racism and hegemony in one article! Not only did he not read the Quran, he hasn’t read a lot of the bible either. I bet he’s read the Left Behind series though. This poor grieving father typifies how Christian machismo has become mainstream. A comic book- video game- ADHD- bible fueled view of masculinity that the president has come to typify. It’s sad and terrifying.

Time flies

2006-03-19T19:35:00.000-05:00

Damn, time flies when you’re (not) having fun…I’ve been neglecting this little blog, not due to lack of having anything to say but due to lack of actually having time. I finally made it through the toughest round of exams this month. I must’ve had an average of 4 to 5 hours of sleep. Ever had the feeling you were treading water? Yeah, I felt like that since this semester began. This semester isn’t a breeze as my first. I love it though. I look forward going to school. Resources for things that you care about are always available. The motivation to do things that are soul-sucking however is hard to come by. (here’s comes the typical job rant).My full time job has become more dysfunctional than usual. It seems as though I have to come in at the crack of dawn to make sure that I can anticipate my boss’ needs before he has them. They are such bad managers. I can’t wait to give them the ol’ heave ho. Why not leave now? I will definitely leave in August since my practicum will start (I’ll find out if I got it by the end of the month). My gf and I are talking about finances and I still feel a little uneasy leaving a fulltime job with good benefits. So, I will put up with it for a little more. Besides I am going to an all expenses paid conference in LA, so I want to stay for that. (is that tacky?)

Let’s see, this weekend is the 3rd anniversary of the invasion of Iraq. The more things change the more they stay the same.

burning at both ends

2006-02-28T21:15:00.000-05:00

I've been running ragged lately. School, work, relationship...it's been hard trying to juggle everything at once, and keep on top of things. Is it because I just can't do everything anymore because I am older? Damn, that doesn't sound good. I feel something has to give. It can't be my school, and it's not gonna be my relationship either. I want to quit my job, but I can't afford it. *sigh* I won't get a choice by the end of the summer, since I have my first practicum starting in the fall. I will definitely not work full time then. I am amazed I did what I did during my masters. I worked 40 hrs, I went to school, had a 20 hr practicum and kept a relationship. I think I paid a price for that. I feel this time around, I need to focus on what's more important. I come from a background that just doesn't quit jobs easily...you stick it out, work harder no matter what, because according to what I was taught, you are defined by what you produced. Fucked up work ethics keep me in a job I find soul sucking. I have friends who switch jobs all the time and seem not to worry about that. There's always another one, they say, why worry? Maybe I am too intense to leave it to the universe. How can I trust something that is chaotic in the first place? *sigh* Well, if I had more time, I would wax neurotically about my place in the world, but I have studying to do. Here's a picture of the night...

better late than never

2006-02-12T14:49:00.000-05:00

we finally got snow! this is from last night...

truth to power

2006-02-09T09:38:00.000-05:00

"We know now there were no weapons of mass destruction over there. [Standing Ovation] But Coretta knew and we know that there are weapons of misdirection right down here. Millions without health insurance. Poverty abounds. For war billions more but no more for the poor. " --Rev. Joseph Lowery at Correta Scott King's Funeral

The HELL word

2006-01-29T22:51:00.000-05:00

Memo to Showtime:
Here are some of my observations (mostly complaints) about the show you call "controversial". It isn't. It's as controversial as the a cup of latte being served at the Planet. It's about a group of mythical lesbians in LA who have complicated and apparently food-free lives. Let them eat something. I bet Jenny would love to eat a burger. Don't get me wrong, the women are gorgeous. Jennifer Beals looking pretty, pretty good in her post-flashdance-post-modern self. But really, can you have her have sex sometimes? Speaking of sex, where is it? Did I miss it? I mean, Shane doesn't even get any. Oh, that's right, it's been three years, you're due for the ubiquitous lesbian bed death that we all are afraid of. Sigh.
Bringing in the androgynous Max does make things interesting, but why did she have to be hooked up with the girl with borderline personality disorder? Seriously, I was happier with the illusions to the circus, or the carnival, or whatever last year was about. Please don't make Pam Grier (what did she do to her face?), into the token straight perimenopausal woman who can't get any. She deserves to get some. And what's all this about the Alice and the tennis player who probably has breast cancer (because someone in the show has to!) I have to say Alice's character is about as close to reality that I have seen, other than Carmen, who of course is representative of all Mexicans. It's LA and there's only ONE (quasi)Mexican on the show? I know it's not reality, but the law of averages, y'know? Finally, can Tina be killed off or something? I'm sure the kid would be better off having Bette being the mom, than the whiny, selfish and annoying Tina. If you can do only one thing, please for the love of god, get BETTY off the soundtrack. What blood-promise did you make in order to have them be the music for the show? Girls with sashes..or long lashes, or whatever the hell that song is...please erase if from my mind before it eats away the cortex I have left.
I'll patiently await your response next week.

time gous by con loli

2006-01-23T23:03:00.000-05:00

the.best.video.ever

4 Rules

2006-01-20T17:00:00.000-05:00

So, here are 4 rules that will make your life more livable if you live with a woman who leans heavily towards the femme spectrum...

1. Let the femme play with power tools. Not only will you get the project done quicker, the sight of your girlfriend drilling things into holes make it much more pleasurable.

2. Let the femme pick the colors. Black and white, as you've been told, are not the only colors that go with everything. There are more colors in the world to choose from (except for pink).

3. Let the femme take control of your, er, her kitchen. You didn't know how to work your stove effectively, did you?

4. Keep the option for the pocket/line-item veto open. As the less-than-femme person in the relationship, your only recource is to use the power of the veto on your side. Use it wisely and wear a helmet.

Finally, remind yourself that your bachelorette pad has been transformed into something better. Whatever that something is...

Picture of the day

Happy New Year

2006-01-17T16:17:00.000-05:00

With the New Year, my new life has started.

As dramatic as this may sound, it’s true.
My girlfriend and I decided to make the plunge and move in together. We’ve been seeing each other for over a year and half, visiting each other once a month. Spending most of our relationship on the phone was not going to go make this relationship evolve. We talked about moving in several months ago, it didn’t become real until we packed her things in her car and drove 1600 miles to live with me.

This is as close to getting married as I will ever get.

Another dramatic statement but also very true. Moving in for a lot of us is as close to “marriage” as we can get and frankly for me, as close as I want to get.

Too bad I don't have the time to talk about gay people's role in deconstructing marriage and my growing ambivalence about the LGBT movement in the direction of marital rights but I have to go to IKEA to buy new furniture with my girlfriend...

We will always have Dollywood

2006-01-04T16:58:00.000-05:00

On the way to DC we swung by Dollywood...sadly it was closed

Bad Santa

2005-12-23T19:30:00.000-05:00

I love christmas!
from Scared of Santa

dulce's Amarga 12 days of xmas

2005-12-22T02:41:00.000-05:00

On the twelfth day of Christmas my culture gave to me
Twelve groups spied on,
eleven priests a pimping,
ten Conservative idiots,
nine anonymous secrets,
eight days-a-waiting
seven released inmates,
six amemdments ruined,
five golden lies;
four black gay men,
three more years,
two gay cowboys,
and a cracked up diva named Whitney.

have a happy, merry (insert euphemism for the holiday)!

good thing i didn't answer the phone

2005-12-15T10:35:00.000-05:00

1000 days

2005-12-13T23:45:00.000-05:00

1000 days got us this…

$204.4 billion: The cost to the U.S of the war so far.
2,339: Allied troops killed
15,955: US troops wounded in action
98: U.K troops killed
30,000 : Estimated Iraqi civilian deaths
0: Number of WMDs found
66: Journalists killed in Iraq.
63: Journalists killed during Vietnam war
8: per cent of Iraqi children suffering acute malnutrition
53,470: Iraqi insurgents killed
67: per cent Iraqis who feel less secure because of occupation
$343: Average monthly salary for an Iraqi soldier.
Average monthly salary for an American soldier in Iraq: $4,160.
755: foreign civilians kidnapped per month
47: per cent Iraqis who never have enough electricity
20: casualties per month from unexploded mines
25-40: per cent Estimated unemployment rate, Nov 2005
251: Foreigners kidnapped
70: per cent of Iraqi's whose sewage system rarely works
183,000: British and American troops are still in action in Iraq.
13,000: from other nations
90: Daily attacks by insurgents in Nov '05. In Jun '03: 860-
80: per cent Iraqis who are "strongly opposed" to presence of coalition troops
58: percent who believe that Bush has NO PLAN out of Iraq

gratuitous xmas picture of the day

2005-12-08T00:28:00.000-05:00

Athough I've been feeling quite humbugish, I wanted to spread some xmas cheer...yes, that is santa and he is riding a what looks like a stork.
Taken at this year's Macy's parade.

Number 18,301

2005-12-01T17:47:00.000-05:00

Red, White and Blue

2005-11-27T10:22:00.000-05:00

Is the title of this piece by Georgia O'keeffe @ the Metropolitan Museum...i spent the weekend in NYC with some really good friends. Had thanksgiving dinner in manhattan and caught an off-off-so-off-broadway-it's-in-the-south-bronx show. I will never tire of this big and brash city. It slaps you in the face when you come in, not to be rude, but to remind you to turn your senses up on high. I fell like I have only experienced .001% of what the city offers. I can't wait to go back.

Rant and Rave 2005 Birthday Edition

2005-11-22T21:08:00.000-05:00

Rant and Rave: 2005 Birthday Edition

Rave: It’s my birthday!
Rant: It was my birthday like 4 days ago.
Rave: Yay! I’m fulfilling my dream by getting into a doctoral program
Rant: Yipes! I’ll finish when I’m 40
Rave: I have an awesome girlfriend who loves me.
Rant: She’s over 1500 miles away
Rave: Grey hair is sexy
Rant: Grey hair in other places is not sexy
Rave: Everyone’s tired of Dubya
Rant: We’re stuck with him for another 3 years
Rave: The crazy "god power" mom
Rant: she's for real
Rave: Harry Potter is back!
Rant: Still no Harry Potter teen sex with Hermione
Rave: Madonna’s new album
Rant: Madge needs to lay off the leotard
Rave: my precious ipod
Rant: Having technolust for the nano
Rave: AVE ROMA
Rant: Why did they do Caesar like dat?
Rave: Thanksgiving in NYC
Rant: 4 hours in a bus to get to NYC
Rave: Birthday Cake!
Rant: Too many candles melting on it

Picture of the day...

full moon

2005-11-15T22:03:00.000-05:00

Full moon on my way home...

cut and paste president

2005-11-11T21:15:00.000-05:00

From Sadly No

Here's a snippet from two speeches by our dear leader made a month apart.

Speech #1 Oct 6, 2005
Third, the militants believe that controlling one country will rally the Muslim masses, enabling them to overthrow all moderate governments in the region, and establish a radical Islamic empire that spans from Spain to Indonesia.
Speech #2 Nov 11, 2005
Third, these militants believe that controlling one country will rally the Muslim masses, enabling them to overthrow all moderate governments in the region, and establish a radical Islamic empire that spans from Spain to Indonesia.

Here's another set
Speech #1 Oct 6, 2005
Some call this evil Islamic radicalism; others, militant Jihadism; still others, Islamo-fascism. Whatever it's called, this ideology is very different from the religion of Islam. This form of radicalism exploits Islam to serve a violent, political vision: the establishment, by terrorism and subversion and insurgency, of a totalitarian empire that denies all political and religious freedom. These extremists distort the idea of jihad into a call for terrorist murder against Christians and Jews and Hindus -- and also against Muslims from other traditions, who they regard as heretics.

Speech #2 Nov 11, 2005
Some call this evil Islamic radicalism; others, militant Jihadism; and still others, Islamo-fascism. Whatever it's called, this ideology is very different from the religion of Islam. This form of radicalism exploits Islam to serve a violent, political vision: the establishment, by terrorism, subversion and insurgency, of a totalitarian empire that denies all political and religious freedom. These extremists distort the idea of jihad into a call for terrorist murder against Christians and Hindus and Jews -- and against Muslims, themselves, who do not share their radical vision.

I can see why he was a C student. No original thoughts, no creative ideas, repeat the same bullshit over and over again. He's like a salesman selling a product he doesn't believe in anymore. Does he even know what he is saying? We are watching the destruction of a man and his party. Frankly, I can't get enough of it. Supposedly the speech today was to be his a big policy speech about Iraq and how democrats are assholes for reminding people that he lied to the country. As the beloved Ann Richards once said about his daddy, "put a fork in him, he's done".

picture of the day...

reason #3457 why I won't be moving to Texas any time soon

2005-11-09T10:57:00.000-05:00

Texas bans gay marriage

"Texans know that marriage is between a man and a woman, and children deserve both a mom and a dad. They don't need a Ph.D. or a degree in anything else to teach them that," said Kelly Shackelford, a leader Texans For Marriage, which favored the ban.
I love how the bigots throw the anti-intellectual card..."you don't need a degree"..when they have to justify their bigotry.

Texans voted 3 to 1 for this measure, that is a sobering fact. Well, what do you expect from a state that has a town called White Settlement that refuses to change its name. The gay movement (what's ever left of it) need to figure out how to talk to people like black ministers and latino union organizers. I am always amazed how white gay leaders just don't understand why people of color won't join in the struggle. The Elizabeth Birches of the world need to make the connection. Oppression, is oppression, is oppression. How did Maine do it? They did it by calling it by it's name: Discrimination, plain and simple. The campaign in Maine, reframed the issue. Make the voters realize that they were being bigots by voting for the measure. The No Nonsense campaign was an utter failure. Where did the campaign say anything about it being about what it was, pure and simple homophobia. Instead, the campaign allowed the religious right frame the issue.

"That's where the victory was won, from the pulpits of the state of Texas," said state Rep. Warren Chisum, a Pampa Republican who wrote the amendment. "The people of Texas have spoken and they intend that marriage should be between one man and one woman."

The pulpits are our gallows, people, we need to wake up.

can i tell you a secret...

2005-11-04T10:34:00.000-05:00

I stumbled upon this website several months ago. The artist asks people to send him secrets about themselves on a postcard and posts them on his site. It's marvelous. It's alot like notproud.com, people confess their sins. Being the voyuer that I am, i love reading about what people will to themselves and each other. I guess I get a little thrill reading about these sins...makes mine tame. We all have things to confess, no?

cristo moreno

2005-10-30T19:04:00.000-05:00

or the purple christ (el senor de los milagros ) was the name of the procession that I came across today on my way to Dupont Circle. It was a beautiful day, the sky was blue and the air was crisp. There was a huge religious procession crossing Connecticut Ave. that made it look like the streets of Mexico City or Lima. It was an old fashioned religious icon procession that had men in purple capes with huge decorated Catholic banners, viejitas with rosaries, a band with a tuba, and incense, alot of incense. The clouds of incense that surrounded the procession smelled sweet and it instantly triggered memories my catholic upbringing. It was as beautiful as it was poignant. I waited almost an hour as the men and women in purple robes carried the platform as it swayed. The procession crossed one of the most busiest streets in DC to enter Adams Morgan, which is the Latino neighborhood of DC. I was impressed on the organization and the devotness of the marchers. The band was a brass ensemble, playing marching tunes that were a mixture of the uplifing and sombre. I got a kick out of the mostly white spectators that kept asking me what was going on. I'm not a practicing catholic anymore, but I couldn't help but feel an affinity to the group of people walking the street, whose ancestors kept an ancient tradition alive that at one time was considered heretical. As the silver laden icon of the black christ came by I thanked it for reminded me how milagroso life really is.

just for the record, i do not own a wife beater

2005-10-29T13:54:00.000-04:00

You are a Gender Nazi. Your boundary-crossing
lifestyle inspires awe in your friends and
colleagues. Or maybe they're just scared you
will kick their asses for using gender-specific
language. Either way, the wife-beater helps.

What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by

wild about harry...

2005-10-27T12:32:00.000-04:00

uhm, not so much...John at americablog has 7 points how this is an incredible opportunity.
In essence:
1) Harriet Miers was killed by the neocon religious "right". The RR litmus test has been exposed for all to see.
2) Bush is now officially weak. The next SC nominee will be coming from a point of weakness.
3) The religious right is being set up. Neocon RR nominees aren't going to be approved, Bush will pick someone that the RR hates, like Alberto Coconut Gonzalez (YUCK).

It's incredible that this man squandered the world's goodwill and the trust and confidence of the american people in the space of 3 years. He's simply the WORST PRESIDENT EVER. Nothing more, nothing less. Hey redstaters, happy now?

Well, Harriet may be gone but we will always have her blog .

black sox paid off some karmic dues

2005-10-27T00:59:00.000-04:00

wow, the sox won the series, the next thing we'll see that there will be indictments at the white house...Yay for the sox, my hometown team finally won ugly!

(notice the raza wearing sox jerseys?)

2005-10-25T10:31:00.000-04:00

Rosa Parks
1919-2005
"People always say that I didn't give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn't true. I was not tired physically, or no more tired than I usually was at the end of a working day. I was not old, although some people have an image of me as being old then. I was forty-two. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in."

fridays are mine

2005-10-21T17:26:00.000-04:00

So it's been a month since I started school and I am still alive! I am taking 11 hours which is something I haven't done since my BA days. My classes are time consuming but not as challenging. It's probably because alot of the material isn't new to me. In doctoral programs, the classes start at a masters' level, so much of the stuff is review for me. I have grown to appreciate my master's experience because it gave me such a good preparation for this new adventure. I see alot of these students straight from undergrad and I notice how young and eager they are. It should make me feel old, but I recognize how hard it was to start off in a new school, new city, the work is hard and you have to preform as soon as you start. My fellow students are smart and funny, that's a good thing-humor keeps you sane. My fellow students are mostly female (like most of the profession) and white. Like my professors. The latinas who are in the program (i can count them one hand) keep to themselves. I try to connect with them but they don't seem to care or shy. Maybe it's a regional thing, chicanos are rare here, most Latinos are from Central America especially from El Salvador.
I have something to do every evening, weekends are spent working on papers, reading, getting ready for classes. So I look forward for some free time, I decided that fridays will be mine. I may want to see a movie. It must be the season of character actors. Looks like Capote is the one to see. The buzz is that Philip Seymour Hoffman is going to get an Oscar for this. I really liked him in Boogie Nights (which is one of my favorite movies). Charlize Theron (a.k.a. gorgeous)who played everyone's favorite lesbian hooker serial killer with a bad job (didn't she freak you out on how uncanny she was?) is playing a minnesotan miner also with a bad job. Sadly, i'll probably end up watching Discovery Health Channel. It's quite addicting, where else can you see kids with no faces, face eating tumors or extra heads! It's American like apple pie and disaster movies...watching others in their time of pain/crisis/suffering...plastic surgeries, super obese people, medical oddities, autopsies. I could write a good analysis about how watching this stuff is our attempt to forget about the our inevitable demise and that this denial has permeated all areas of our culture but there's a show on the harlequin baby in a few minutes.

picture of the day... i took this at coney island, new york

the business of country dancing

2005-10-18T15:49:00.000-04:00

I went to a country bar this past weekend with my girlfriend and my friend. Not by choice, mind you, we went because a fundraiser was held there. I couldn't get away from stepping into one living in Texas, it was part of the culture there. Even if you didn't like country music, you knew who were the big stars and even hum a few bars of the songs. It was hard to avoid it, the music is piped in the grocery stores. The queer country bars Texas were known to be overwhelmingly white, working/middle class and racist. Most Chicanos I knew wouldn't step into those bars, unless they were dating white people who is into country (that is a whole other topic), we knew we wouldn't feel welcome. I figure that was a regional thing, being the south and all. Which brings us to our experience at the lesbian country bar in Maryland Saturday night. I might as well have been in Texas. All country bars look the same don't they? This one had country decor with wooden wheels on the wall and twisted rope. As soon as we stepped into the place, I noticed that we were the only people of color in this bar. But since it was a queer bar, I thought I would give it the benefit of the doubt. What really bothered me were all the rules- all the protocols in this place. It's all about conformity. You must dance in a circle, you must keep in step with everyone else, you must either follow or lead, and god help you if you stand out. If you did stand out you will be made an example. Case in point: my girlfriend and I decided to take the plunge and dance to a song, with the limited 2 step skills that we both had. As soon as we started to dance, a woman came up to us and rudely pushed us to the middle, telling us that we were supposed to follow the circle. Since we didn't keep pace with the rest of the mindless country dancing robots, we stood out and were shamed into the circle. It made me realize how much this culture values assimilation and conformity. Look at line dancing, with these regimented almost military steps to a song (any song really, they can line dance to gregorian chants if given the chance) ,there is no room for difference, no room for creativity. If you decide to add a little twist not only will you stand out, you bring on the ire of the similarly clad mostly white middle class lesbians who will make sure you know you are breaking the well established pattern by shaming you.
Needless to say, I dislike country dancing...

week in haiku

2005-10-07T22:45:00.000-04:00

God said invade george
Crony gets nominated
worst president ever

(okay the last line is 6 syllables)

picture of the day

from Jessica Insandiego

homeland security

2005-09-27T10:32:00.000-04:00

Via Republic of T

Collage of Protest

2005-09-24T18:51:00.000-04:00

I've tried to post this thing three times, I hope it doesn't come up multiple times. I couldn't study knowing there was a protest going on! So I decided to hop on a bus to the White House to see the anti-war protest today. Even though it was about 3:30-4 o'clock, there were alot of people on the streets. My guess there were about 200-300K people, the march, I heard, took more than 3 hours to complete! Sadly, I'm sure the media isn't going to report it. Since it's hurricane obsessed.

shave your bush

2005-09-24T18:33:00.000-04:00

by the white house, S24 march for peace and justice

Worst President Ever

2005-09-24T18:07:00.000-04:00

I wish the angle was a little better.

From the S24 anti-war march

2005-09-24T17:55:00.000-04:00

everyone's waiting in line...

2005-09-23T20:22:00.000-04:00

while our dear leader is safely hidden in NORAD, "monitoring" the destruction of the Texas/Louisiana coast. It seems like we are always waiting in line, and it's the poor, the working class, Blacks, Latinos, the elderly and the children who get left behind. It's nothing out of the ordinary, really. The government's response to Hurricanes is not the issue, for we must be vigilant like our dear leader, of the terrorists that lurk in every dark corner. I cannot bear to watch him anymore, he is a sad and pathetic man. Now the talk is that he is back to the bottle. (really did he ever leave it?). I can't believe we have another 3 years with this dangerous man.

Tommorow is the End the war on Iraq/Justice for the Gulf Coast march. I don't know if they get the expected 100K, the metro has been pretty normal and I haven't seen alot of visiting marchers on the streets today. Usually, those places would get packed before any march. The march in January before the Iraq invasion had at least 300K, and the city that weekend was taken over by activists. I got quite dissilusioned after the J18 (2003) march, it seemed like even though you can gather half of million people to come in the middle of winter to protest a war that hasn't happened yet, our voices didn't matter. We march, make signs and make speeches. We talk a good talk about inclusion and equality, but who's stuck in line waiting to speak, never to be heard from?

I'm a little torn about pulling out the troops from Iraq. We destroyed their infrastructure, disbanded their army and police, fueled a religious rivalry and killed many, many people. Like good Americans we cannot admit to errors or mistakes. So this criminal and murderous mistake will never become the responsibility of the government (remember Rummy's quote "stuff happens"?) and to some extent the American people will never own up to its role in all of this. So what are we gonna do? The UN won't touch this, the world has basically told us to fuck off, the arab world wants us gone...we dug ourselves in the same type of spider hole that Hussain was found in, this time I think there is no way out.

a total eunuch?!

2005-09-20T11:45:00.000-04:00

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

something's gotta give

2005-09-17T22:42:00.000-04:00

It's been 2 weeks, and I think it's hitting me, I am in graduate school (again). I have to say the second time around is a different experience. The students in my class are pretty diverse, which is nice. The curriculum isn't as foreign to me as it was when I was in my masters. I mean how much can things change in 5 years? Although I have to say that I have a lot of refreshing to do. At least I don't have to memorize the DSM-IV! My classes are your basic clinical classes: assessment (IQ), clinical interviewing (therapy 101), psychopathology (diagnose-o-rama). They sound intense. They are. I think the challenge for me will be how to balance of all of this and still have a life and a full time job. When I started school the last time around, like 6 years ago (damn, was it that long ago?) it seemed like I can do it all. I was 29, which isn't spring chicken territory, I had an intense job that took alot of brain power, a life that included a new relationship and good friends, volunteer work, etc. What I remember from that experience is that I didn't feel like I had put enough time in my school work. I felt different things pulling at me and I let go of some things and I didn't feel the repercussions until much later.
This time around, I'm in the same situation, a full time job, a new relationship, good friends, volunteer work...I'm a little older, as the greying of my temples can attest, and I still think I can do it all. But I don't want to. I want to focus on my dream and that may mean that something has to go. Yes, I may have break up this ongoing relationship that has become abusive and unhealthly over the years. For forty hours a week, I have paid attention to this relationship and although I appreciate the compensation for my time, it doesn't make up for the countless hours of banality, boredom and pettiness. It's time to call it a day. I hope to get a part time job sometime in the Spring of '06, just in time for me to start my practicum. I may still have to work to pay some bills, but this time around I'm going to be choosy.

Bush el Pendejo

2005-09-11T01:44:00.000-04:00

Reading the Univision comment page has given me an insight to my Latino brothers/sisters' reactions are to katrina's aftermath. There is no "viva bush" here...raza is very angry
here's a taste..my translations aren't literal..
in a thread titled cuantos mas tienen que morir por la ineptitud de Bush?
judithra63 says

Bush el verdadero genosida de nuestros tiempos. Cristobal Colon se le quedo cortito.

translation: Columbus can't compare to the genocide that bush has committed

same thread comment by a guy named pichagua

No me explico,como hay personas que todavia tratan de denfender a este
presidente..es lo mas inepto que se ha instalado en la Casa Blanca ...hasta el General Colin Powel lo critico!!!!Y cuando el perro muerde a su amo,la cosa es grave... .

translation: even colin powell criticized him! I love the last sentence "when a dog bites its owner, it's very serious"

in another thread entitled El presidente no desea ayudar ni a negros, ni a indocumentados
rocio6 said

si hubieran sido blancos y rubios,hubiera mandado ayuda inmediatamente............y debido a esa falta de ayuda,murieron cantidad de personas...lo demostro quedandose un dia mas en su rancho en texas.........la verdad yo no creo en ese senor

translation: if they were white and blonde they would've gotten help immediately. finally she says, i don't believe in him anymore...

pat said with some resignation

Claro que no desea ayudar a los negros, si por el fuera que se mueran todos junto con los indocumentados, Bush es un metiroso,hipocrita y para el es mas importante enviar soldados a Irak que enviarlos a ayudar en el desastre, las pruebas estan ahi, ni siquiera les avisaron con tiempo para evacuar, muchos dicen que no sabian, asi estan las cosas en el pais mas poderoso del mundo. pero aqui seguimos, quejandonos y aguantando lo que sea

translation: Bush is a liar, hypocrite..it is more important to send soldiers to Iraq..then she ends her comment with classic fatalism that only my people know how to express "well, we continue, complaining and putting up with what comes may"

finally in response to Mexico's aid convoy...in a thread entitled Fox Vejete Titere del Borracho Bush (Fox, the elderly puppet of Bush the drunk)
notehagaselyanqui (love the handle!) with the best rant of the day

FOX HAY QUE AYUDAR A SU COMPADRE EL BORRACHIN MAYOR, QUE SE GASTA MILLONES DE DOLARES EN MATAR GENTE EN IRAK Y EN DAR DINERO A LA NASA PARA IR A JODER A LOS MARCIANOS, PORQUE NI ELLOS SE SALVAN DE ESTE VIEJO, NI A ELLOS LOS DEJA EN PAZ SIEMPRE METIDO EN TODO

translation: Fox has to help his drunk buddy who spends millions in killing people in Iraq, who gives money to NASA to fuck with the martians, because they aren't even safe with this jerk, even the maritans aren't left alone, always meddling... His/her comment made my night!

Seriously, there is alot of raw emotion on these threads, lots of anger and shock, many are those looking for lost relatives, other threads speak about the concern many have about immigrants getting deported if they ask for aid. Clearly, this disaster/tragedy/superfuckup effected not only African-Americans and the poor but many immigrants, Latinos and Asians...

"They are trying to kill us"

2005-09-10T14:33:00.000-04:00

The second Saturday of every month is board meeting day. Who has board meetings on the weekend? Lesbians! We love to have meetings don't we? We are a community board that advises the Lesbian Health Center of the local LGBT clinic. So we usually discuss things like programs and development issues. The board I'm in is somewhat diverse, at least on paper. Of the active member there are 2 Latinas on board (i'm one of them ) and an African-American woman the rest of this group are white, middle class lesbians. For a city as diverse as DC, it's a problem. I stay because of the mission of the clinic is very important and close to my heart. I also stay because I can't allow non-Latino/Black people set the agenda that will effect people of color. There were only 6 of us this morning. We had a summer hiatus so we checked-in with each other. There were updates about children, (3 of the women have children), new girlfriends, other transitions. A fellow board member was last to come in. She is an elder in the community, a well respected African-American lesbian who has seen alot and has so much organizational wisdom and guidance. She looked visibly shaken as she walked through the door. When it was her turn to speak, she said "they are trying to kill us". Her voice trembled and tears were welling. She needed to talk about what the rest of the room glossed over, the hurricane, the death and destruction that could have been averted, the images of desperate black people on the streets, the bodies of the elderly. The rage and the pain that she expressed moved me to tears. A place, a forum to talk about this was needed. I'm glad she took the opportunity. She kept saying, "they are trying to kill us" in a lucid, matter of fact manner. I noticed the other women of the group were very moved but silent. I will say, that no matter how well meaning you are, if you aren't a person a color, you will NEVER know how racism effects every part of your life. We try to keep racism controlled with an elaborate system of levees and locks. When it breaks, the waters rise, a slow drowning in putrid, fetid waters choke us, a toxic sludge sticks to us and we are unable to get out. The last 2 weeks reminded me that no matter how smart you are, how much money you make, if you speak with a nice accent, you have a job and stay out of trouble, if your skin is black or brown you will drown in those waters unless you have a plan to survive.

louisiana 1927

2005-09-06T11:48:00.000-04:00

Louisiana 1927 Aaron Neville...

What has happened down here, is the winds have changed
Clouds roll in from the north and it started to rain
It rained real hard, and it rained for a real long time
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline
The river rose all day, the river rose all night
Some people got lost in the flood, some people got away alright
The river had busted through clear down to Placker Mine
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline
Louisiana, Louisiana
They`re trying to wash us away, they`re trying to wash us away
Oh Louisiana, Louisiana
They`re trying to wash us away, they`re trying to wash us away
President Coolidge come down, in a railroad train
With his little fat man with a note pad in his hand
President say "little fat man, oh isn`t it a shame,
What the river has done to this poor farmer`s land"
Oh Louisiana, Louisiana
They`re trying to wash us away, you`re trying to wash us away
Oh Louisiana, oh Louisiana
They`re trying to wash us away, oh Lord, they`re trying to wash us away
They`re trying to wash us away, they`re trying to wash us away

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

2005-09-06T11:14:00.000-04:00

"And so many of the people in the arena here, you
know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she
chuckles slightly) is working very well for them."---
Barbara Bush on the New Orleans evacuees

Words fail me.

FW :A Picture Share!

2005-09-03T22:21:00.000-04:00

On the E train...

A Picture Share!

2005-09-03T16:10:00.000-04:00

At the brooklyn bridge...

President Nero strums while New Orleans drowns

2005-08-31T12:02:00.000-04:00

more pictures here

When the Levee Breaks...

2005-08-30T16:04:00.000-04:00

If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break,
When The Levee Breaks I'll have no place to stay.

Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home,
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.

Don't it make you feel bad
When you're tryin' to find your way home,
You don't know which way to go?
If you're goin' down South
They go no work to do,
If you don't know about Chicago.

Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
Thinkin' about me baby and my happy home.
Going, going to Chicago... Going to Chicago... Sorry but I can't take you...
Going down... going down now... going down... Led Zeppelin

RIP SFU

2005-08-22T14:16:00.000-04:00

I am a big fan of the HBO series, Six Feet Under. The show came to a close yesterday with the best ending I think, of anything I have seen on television. What I loved about the show is that all the characters were beautifully flawed and even after they die, they left unfinished business. Just like real life. I suppose the entire point of the show can be summed up when one of the characters, the recently departed Nate Fisher, says “I’m just saying you only get one life. There’s no God, no rules, no judgments except for those you accept or create for yourself." Goodbye SFU, I will miss you.

I took a picture of this gravestone in Boston Feb 2004

A Picture Share!

2005-08-20T18:12:00.000-04:00

Saw this at the bus stop...

a weekend in san anto...

2005-08-16T11:30:00.000-04:00

I spent a nice weekend in san antonio with my gf and my buddies. When I'm visiting SA I do three things...1) eat breakfast tacos 2)have a laugh over drinks with Mike and Brad 3) spend quality time with my girl...ahh, I am satisified. I got to see my old apartment. A friend of a friend bought the entire building and converted the downstairs apartment into his hair salon, and turned my old apartment into his home space. I spent 10 years in that apartment, lots of good times in that place. I am glad he gave it a face lift (as gay men are apt to do). I was touched that he wanted to show it to me, he said he wanted my blessing. I wish him many happy years there.
We took a drive around town Saturday night to take pictures, you can find them on my flickr site. As we were driving around town, taking in the lights, listening to the faint accordian music on the radio, it brought me back to my college days...memories of midnight drives and laughter, visits with friends and late night phone calls, drag pagents and barhopping, kisses and glances over conversation. I think I would be a different person if I stayed in Chicago (that's where I am from), perhaps a little ruder, a little more cynical (can i be anymore cynical?). My visits there make me long for it more than I thought. Life there is a little less hectic. And to be honest, it's nice to be surrounded by raza all the time.

I read opal's account of her visit to Crawford to support Cindy Sheehan. Opal also has photos from Camp Casey. I think her protest is brilliant as she personalized the effects of war. Her demading an audience with Bush puts him on the defensive. He's screwed if he sees her and screwed if doesn't. I saw fewer yellow stickers on cars, did they fall off on their own? Less than half of americans approve of Bush's handling of anything. People are angry but don't know what to do. I think Sheehan is on the right track. Force them to be accountable for what they have done.

Picture of the day...
la morenita

A Picture Share!

2005-08-11T13:51:00.000-04:00

Columbia heights metro looks a little space agey...on my way to SA to see my girl..

Focus on SC Woman's Sign

2005-08-10T17:16:00.000-04:00

Focus on SC Woman's Sign
Originally uploaded by Woodrow.

This is why I love flickr so much.

The Ex-Zone

2005-08-10T16:24:00.000-04:00

I was talking to a friend (Suz) about ex's. Suz had an argument with her ex about something and was very upset when she talked to me. She asked me if I still talk to mine. I told her that I didn't, there was no need to. My ex lives in the west coast, and I suppose she is living her life, just like I am. Most of the time I don't really think of her, it's like she's an abstraction to me. It's like a ice sculpture melting, the details blur, the edges smooth over and it changes right in front of you. All that is left is the impression that she was here. Maybe it's just my way to deal with it. We lesbians are funny about our ex's, either they become our best friend or we pretend they never existed . I hope I can reach a point within that spectrum. But for now, I'm letting things heal on their own.