cristo moreno

or the purple christ (el senor de los milagros ) was the name of the procession that I came across today on my way to Dupont Circle. It was a beautiful day, the sky was blue and the air was crisp. There was a huge religious procession crossing Connecticut Ave. that made it look like the streets of Mexico City or Lima. It was an old fashioned religious icon procession that had men in purple capes with huge decorated Catholic banners, viejitas with rosaries, a band with a tuba, and incense, alot of incense. The clouds of incense that surrounded the procession smelled sweet and it instantly triggered memories my catholic upbringing. It was as beautiful as it was poignant. I waited almost an hour as the men and women in purple robes carried the platform as it swayed. The procession crossed one of the most busiest streets in DC to enter Adams Morgan, which is the Latino neighborhood of DC. I was impressed on the organization and the devotness of the marchers. The band was a brass ensemble, playing marching tunes that were a mixture of the uplifing and sombre. I got a kick out of the mostly white spectators that kept asking me what was going on. I'm not a practicing catholic anymore, but I couldn't help but feel an affinity to the group of people walking the street, whose ancestors kept an ancient tradition alive that at one time was considered heretical. As the silver laden icon of the black christ came by I thanked it for reminded me how milagroso life really is.

just for the record, i do not own a wife beater

You are a Gender Nazi. Your boundary-crossing
lifestyle inspires awe in your friends and
colleagues. Or maybe they're just scared you
will kick their asses for using gender-specific
language. Either way, the wife-beater helps.

What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by

wild about harry...

uhm, not so much...John at americablog has 7 points how this is an incredible opportunity.
In essence:
1) Harriet Miers was killed by the neocon religious "right". The RR litmus test has been exposed for all to see.
2) Bush is now officially weak. The next SC nominee will be coming from a point of weakness.
3) The religious right is being set up. Neocon RR nominees aren't going to be approved, Bush will pick someone that the RR hates, like Alberto Coconut Gonzalez (YUCK).

It's incredible that this man squandered the world's goodwill and the trust and confidence of the american people in the space of 3 years. He's simply the WORST PRESIDENT EVER. Nothing more, nothing less. Hey redstaters, happy now?


Well, Harriet may be gone but we will always have her blog .

black sox paid off some karmic dues

wow, the sox won the series, the next thing we'll see that there will be indictments at the white house...Yay for the sox, my hometown team finally won ugly!


(notice the raza wearing sox jerseys?)

Rosa Parks
1919-2005
"People always say that I didn't give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn't true. I was not tired physically, or no more tired than I usually was at the end of a working day. I was not old, although some people have an image of me as being old then. I was forty-two. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in."

fridays are mine

So it's been a month since I started school and I am still alive! I am taking 11 hours which is something I haven't done since my BA days. My classes are time consuming but not as challenging. It's probably because alot of the material isn't new to me. In doctoral programs, the classes start at a masters' level, so much of the stuff is review for me. I have grown to appreciate my master's experience because it gave me such a good preparation for this new adventure. I see alot of these students straight from undergrad and I notice how young and eager they are. It should make me feel old, but I recognize how hard it was to start off in a new school, new city, the work is hard and you have to preform as soon as you start. My fellow students are smart and funny, that's a good thing-humor keeps you sane. My fellow students are mostly female (like most of the profession) and white. Like my professors. The latinas who are in the program (i can count them one hand) keep to themselves. I try to connect with them but they don't seem to care or shy. Maybe it's a regional thing, chicanos are rare here, most Latinos are from Central America especially from El Salvador.
I have something to do every evening, weekends are spent working on papers, reading, getting ready for classes. So I look forward for some free time, I decided that fridays will be mine. I may want to see a movie. It must be the season of character actors. Looks like Capote is the one to see. The buzz is that Philip Seymour Hoffman is going to get an Oscar for this. I really liked him in Boogie Nights (which is one of my favorite movies). Charlize Theron (a.k.a. gorgeous)who played everyone's favorite lesbian hooker serial killer with a bad job (didn't she freak you out on how uncanny she was?) is playing a minnesotan miner also with a bad job. Sadly, i'll probably end up watching Discovery Health Channel. It's quite addicting, where else can you see kids with no faces, face eating tumors or extra heads! It's American like apple pie and disaster movies...watching others in their time of pain/crisis/suffering...plastic surgeries, super obese people, medical oddities, autopsies. I could write a good analysis about how watching this stuff is our attempt to forget about the our inevitable demise and that this denial has permeated all areas of our culture but there's a show on the harlequin baby in a few minutes.



picture of the day... i took this at coney island, new york

the business of country dancing

I went to a country bar this past weekend with my girlfriend and my friend. Not by choice, mind you, we went because a fundraiser was held there. I couldn't get away from stepping into one living in Texas, it was part of the culture there. Even if you didn't like country music, you knew who were the big stars and even hum a few bars of the songs. It was hard to avoid it, the music is piped in the grocery stores. The queer country bars Texas were known to be overwhelmingly white, working/middle class and racist. Most Chicanos I knew wouldn't step into those bars, unless they were dating white people who is into country (that is a whole other topic), we knew we wouldn't feel welcome. I figure that was a regional thing, being the south and all. Which brings us to our experience at the lesbian country bar in Maryland Saturday night. I might as well have been in Texas. All country bars look the same don't they? This one had country decor with wooden wheels on the wall and twisted rope. As soon as we stepped into the place, I noticed that we were the only people of color in this bar. But since it was a queer bar, I thought I would give it the benefit of the doubt. What really bothered me were all the rules- all the protocols in this place. It's all about conformity. You must dance in a circle, you must keep in step with everyone else, you must either follow or lead, and god help you if you stand out. If you did stand out you will be made an example. Case in point: my girlfriend and I decided to take the plunge and dance to a song, with the limited 2 step skills that we both had. As soon as we started to dance, a woman came up to us and rudely pushed us to the middle, telling us that we were supposed to follow the circle. Since we didn't keep pace with the rest of the mindless country dancing robots, we stood out and were shamed into the circle. It made me realize how much this culture values assimilation and conformity. Look at line dancing, with these regimented almost military steps to a song (any song really, they can line dance to gregorian chants if given the chance) ,there is no room for difference, no room for creativity. If you decide to add a little twist not only will you stand out, you bring on the ire of the similarly clad mostly white middle class lesbians who will make sure you know you are breaking the well established pattern by shaming you.
Needless to say, I dislike country dancing...

week in haiku

God said invade george
Crony gets nominated
worst president ever


(okay the last line is 6 syllables)


picture of the day

from Jessica Insandiego

homeland security

Via Republic of T

Collage of Protest

I've tried to post this thing three times, I hope it doesn't come up multiple times. I couldn't study knowing there was a protest going on! So I decided to hop on a bus to the White House to see the anti-war protest today. Even though it was about 3:30-4 o'clock, there were alot of people on the streets. My guess there were about 200-300K people, the march, I heard, took more than 3 hours to complete! Sadly, I'm sure the media isn't going to report it. Since it's hurricane obsessed.

shave your bush

by the white house, S24 march for peace and justice 

Worst President Ever

I wish the angle was a little better.

From the S24 anti-war march

everyone's waiting in line...

while our dear leader is safely hidden in NORAD, "monitoring" the destruction of the Texas/Louisiana coast. It seems like we are always waiting in line, and it's the poor, the working class, Blacks, Latinos, the elderly and the children who get left behind. It's nothing out of the ordinary, really. The government's response to Hurricanes is not the issue, for we must be vigilant like our dear leader, of the terrorists that lurk in every dark corner. I cannot bear to watch him anymore, he is a sad and pathetic man. Now the talk is that he is back to the bottle. (really did he ever leave it?). I can't believe we have another 3 years with this dangerous man.

Tommorow is the End the war on Iraq/Justice for the Gulf Coast march. I don't know if they get the expected 100K, the metro has been pretty normal and I haven't seen alot of visiting marchers on the streets today. Usually, those places would get packed before any march. The march in January before the Iraq invasion had at least 300K, and the city that weekend was taken over by activists. I got quite dissilusioned after the J18 (2003) march, it seemed like even though you can gather half of million people to come in the middle of winter to protest a war that hasn't happened yet, our voices didn't matter. We march, make signs and make speeches. We talk a good talk about inclusion and equality, but who's stuck in line waiting to speak, never to be heard from?

I'm a little torn about pulling out the troops from Iraq. We destroyed their infrastructure, disbanded their army and police, fueled a religious rivalry and killed many, many people. Like good Americans we cannot admit to errors or mistakes. So this criminal and murderous mistake will never become the responsibility of the government (remember Rummy's quote "stuff happens"?) and to some extent the American people will never own up to its role in all of this. So what are we gonna do? The UN won't touch this, the world has basically told us to fuck off, the arab world wants us gone...we dug ourselves in the same type of spider hole that Hussain was found in, this time I think there is no way out.

a total eunuch?!

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

something's gotta give

It's been 2 weeks, and I think it's hitting me, I am in graduate school (again). I have to say the second time around is a different experience. The students in my class are pretty diverse, which is nice. The curriculum isn't as foreign to me as it was when I was in my masters. I mean how much can things change in 5 years? Although I have to say that I have a lot of refreshing to do. At least I don't have to memorize the DSM-IV! My classes are your basic clinical classes: assessment (IQ), clinical interviewing (therapy 101), psychopathology (diagnose-o-rama). They sound intense. They are. I think the challenge for me will be how to balance of all of this and still have a life and a full time job. When I started school the last time around, like 6 years ago (damn, was it that long ago?) it seemed like I can do it all. I was 29, which isn't spring chicken territory, I had an intense job that took alot of brain power, a life that included a new relationship and good friends, volunteer work, etc. What I remember from that experience is that I didn't feel like I had put enough time in my school work. I felt different things pulling at me and I let go of some things and I didn't feel the repercussions until much later.
This time around, I'm in the same situation, a full time job, a new relationship, good friends, volunteer work...I'm a little older, as the greying of my temples can attest, and I still think I can do it all. But I don't want to. I want to focus on my dream and that may mean that something has to go. Yes, I may have break up this ongoing relationship that has become abusive and unhealthly over the years. For forty hours a week, I have paid attention to this relationship and although I appreciate the compensation for my time, it doesn't make up for the countless hours of banality, boredom and pettiness. It's time to call it a day. I hope to get a part time job sometime in the Spring of '06, just in time for me to start my practicum. I may still have to work to pay some bills, but this time around I'm going to be choosy.

Bush el Pendejo

Reading the Univision comment page has given me an insight to my Latino brothers/sisters' reactions are to katrina's aftermath. There is no "viva bush" here...raza is very angry
here's a taste..my translations aren't literal..
in a thread titled cuantos mas tienen que morir por la ineptitud de Bush?
judithra63 says

Bush el verdadero genosida de nuestros tiempos. Cristobal Colon se le quedo cortito.

translation: Columbus can't compare to the genocide that bush has committed

same thread comment by a guy named pichagua

No me explico,como hay personas que todavia tratan de denfender a este
presidente..es lo mas inepto que se ha instalado en la Casa Blanca ...hasta el General Colin Powel lo critico!!!!Y cuando el perro muerde a su amo,la cosa es grave... .

translation: even colin powell criticized him! I love the last sentence "when a dog bites its owner, it's very serious"

in another thread entitled El presidente no desea ayudar ni a negros, ni a indocumentados
rocio6 said

si hubieran sido blancos y rubios,hubiera mandado ayuda inmediatamente............y debido a esa falta de ayuda,murieron cantidad de personas...lo demostro quedandose un dia mas en su rancho en texas.........la verdad yo no creo en ese senor

translation: if they were white and blonde they would've gotten help immediately. finally she says, i don't believe in him anymore...

pat said with some resignation

Claro que no desea ayudar a los negros, si por el fuera que se mueran todos junto con los indocumentados, Bush es un metiroso,hipocrita y para el es mas importante enviar soldados a Irak que enviarlos a ayudar en el desastre, las pruebas estan ahi, ni siquiera les avisaron con tiempo para evacuar, muchos dicen que no sabian, asi estan las cosas en el pais mas poderoso del mundo. pero aqui seguimos, quejandonos y aguantando lo que sea

translation: Bush is a liar, hypocrite..it is more important to send soldiers to Iraq..then she ends her comment with classic fatalism that only my people know how to express "well, we continue, complaining and putting up with what comes may"

finally in response to Mexico's aid convoy...in a thread entitled Fox Vejete Titere del Borracho Bush (Fox, the elderly puppet of Bush the drunk)
notehagaselyanqui (love the handle!) with the best rant of the day

FOX HAY QUE AYUDAR A SU COMPADRE EL BORRACHIN MAYOR, QUE SE GASTA MILLONES DE DOLARES EN MATAR GENTE EN IRAK Y EN DAR DINERO A LA NASA PARA IR A JODER A LOS MARCIANOS, PORQUE NI ELLOS SE SALVAN DE ESTE VIEJO, NI A ELLOS LOS DEJA EN PAZ SIEMPRE METIDO EN TODO

translation: Fox has to help his drunk buddy who spends millions in killing people in Iraq, who gives money to NASA to fuck with the martians, because they aren't even safe with this jerk, even the maritans aren't left alone, always meddling... His/her comment made my night!

Seriously, there is alot of raw emotion on these threads, lots of anger and shock, many are those looking for lost relatives, other threads speak about the concern many have about immigrants getting deported if they ask for aid. Clearly, this disaster/tragedy/superfuckup effected not only African-Americans and the poor but many immigrants, Latinos and Asians...

"They are trying to kill us"

The second Saturday of every month is board meeting day. Who has board meetings on the weekend? Lesbians! We love to have meetings don't we? We are a community board that advises the Lesbian Health Center of the local LGBT clinic. So we usually discuss things like programs and development issues. The board I'm in is somewhat diverse, at least on paper. Of the active member there are 2 Latinas on board (i'm one of them ) and an African-American woman the rest of this group are white, middle class lesbians. For a city as diverse as DC, it's a problem. I stay because of the mission of the clinic is very important and close to my heart. I also stay because I can't allow non-Latino/Black people set the agenda that will effect people of color. There were only 6 of us this morning. We had a summer hiatus so we checked-in with each other. There were updates about children, (3 of the women have children), new girlfriends, other transitions. A fellow board member was last to come in. She is an elder in the community, a well respected African-American lesbian who has seen alot and has so much organizational wisdom and guidance. She looked visibly shaken as she walked through the door. When it was her turn to speak, she said "they are trying to kill us". Her voice trembled and tears were welling. She needed to talk about what the rest of the room glossed over, the hurricane, the death and destruction that could have been averted, the images of desperate black people on the streets, the bodies of the elderly. The rage and the pain that she expressed moved me to tears. A place, a forum to talk about this was needed. I'm glad she took the opportunity. She kept saying, "they are trying to kill us" in a lucid, matter of fact manner. I noticed the other women of the group were very moved but silent. I will say, that no matter how well meaning you are, if you aren't a person a color, you will NEVER know how racism effects every part of your life. We try to keep racism controlled with an elaborate system of levees and locks. When it breaks, the waters rise, a slow drowning in putrid, fetid waters choke us, a toxic sludge sticks to us and we are unable to get out. The last 2 weeks reminded me that no matter how smart you are, how much money you make, if you speak with a nice accent, you have a job and stay out of trouble, if your skin is black or brown you will drown in those waters unless you have a plan to survive.

louisiana 1927

Louisiana 1927 Aaron Neville...

What has happened down here, is the winds have changed
Clouds roll in from the north and it started to rain
It rained real hard, and it rained for a real long time
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline
The river rose all day, the river rose all night
Some people got lost in the flood, some people got away alright
The river had busted through clear down to Placker Mine
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline
Louisiana, Louisiana
They`re trying to wash us away, they`re trying to wash us away
Oh Louisiana, Louisiana
They`re trying to wash us away, they`re trying to wash us away
President Coolidge come down, in a railroad train
With his little fat man with a note pad in his hand
President say "little fat man, oh isn`t it a shame,
What the river has done to this poor farmer`s land"
Oh Louisiana, Louisiana
They`re trying to wash us away, you`re trying to wash us away
Oh Louisiana, oh Louisiana
They`re trying to wash us away, oh Lord, they`re trying to wash us away
They`re trying to wash us away, they`re trying to wash us away

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

"And so many of the people in the arena here, you
know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she
chuckles slightly) is working very well for them."---
Barbara Bush on the New Orleans evacuees



Words fail me.

FW :A Picture Share!

On the E train...

A Picture Share!

At the brooklyn bridge...

President Nero strums while New Orleans drowns

more pictures here

When the Levee Breaks...

If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break,
When The Levee Breaks I'll have no place to stay.

Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home,
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.

Don't it make you feel bad
When you're tryin' to find your way home,
You don't know which way to go?
If you're goin' down South
They go no work to do,
If you don't know about Chicago.

Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
Thinkin' about me baby and my happy home.
Going, going to Chicago... Going to Chicago... Sorry but I can't take you...
Going down... going down now... going down... Led Zeppelin

RIP SFU

I am a big fan of the HBO series, Six Feet Under. The show came to a close yesterday with the best ending I think, of anything I have seen on television. What I loved about the show is that all the characters were beautifully flawed and even after they die, they left unfinished business. Just like real life. I suppose the entire point of the show can be summed up when one of the characters, the recently departed Nate Fisher, says “I’m just saying you only get one life. There’s no God, no rules, no judgments except for those you accept or create for yourself." Goodbye SFU, I will miss you.

I took a picture of this gravestone in Boston Feb 2004

A Picture Share!

Saw this at the bus stop...

a weekend in san anto...

I spent a nice weekend in san antonio with my gf and my buddies. When I'm visiting SA I do three things...1) eat breakfast tacos 2)have a laugh over drinks with Mike and Brad 3) spend quality time with my girl...ahh, I am satisified. I got to see my old apartment. A friend of a friend bought the entire building and converted the downstairs apartment into his hair salon, and turned my old apartment into his home space. I spent 10 years in that apartment, lots of good times in that place. I am glad he gave it a face lift (as gay men are apt to do). I was touched that he wanted to show it to me, he said he wanted my blessing. I wish him many happy years there.
We took a drive around town Saturday night to take pictures, you can find them on my flickr site. As we were driving around town, taking in the lights, listening to the faint accordian music on the radio, it brought me back to my college days...memories of midnight drives and laughter, visits with friends and late night phone calls, drag pagents and barhopping, kisses and glances over conversation. I think I would be a different person if I stayed in Chicago (that's where I am from), perhaps a little ruder, a little more cynical (can i be anymore cynical?). My visits there make me long for it more than I thought. Life there is a little less hectic. And to be honest, it's nice to be surrounded by raza all the time.

I read opal's account of her visit to Crawford to support Cindy Sheehan. Opal also has photos from Camp Casey. I think her protest is brilliant as she personalized the effects of war. Her demading an audience with Bush puts him on the defensive. He's screwed if he sees her and screwed if doesn't. I saw fewer yellow stickers on cars, did they fall off on their own? Less than half of americans approve of Bush's handling of anything. People are angry but don't know what to do. I think Sheehan is on the right track. Force them to be accountable for what they have done.

Picture of the day...
la morenita

A Picture Share!

Columbia heights metro looks a little space agey...on my way to SA to see my girl..

Focus on SC Woman's Sign

Focus on SC Woman's Sign
Originally uploaded by Woodrow.

This is why I love flickr so much.

The Ex-Zone

I was talking to a friend (Suz) about ex's. Suz had an argument with her ex about something and was very upset when she talked to me. She asked me if I still talk to mine. I told her that I didn't, there was no need to. My ex lives in the west coast, and I suppose she is living her life, just like I am. Most of the time I don't really think of her, it's like she's an abstraction to me. It's like a ice sculpture melting, the details blur, the edges smooth over and it changes right in front of you. All that is left is the impression that she was here. Maybe it's just my way to deal with it. We lesbians are funny about our ex's, either they become our best friend or we pretend they never existed . I hope I can reach a point within that spectrum. But for now, I'm letting things heal on their own.

You like me, you really like me

I've never been featured before...but thanks to blogs by women for posting my ravings on their blog. If you haven't checked out their site. Do it! It's a good place to find blogs by all kinds of mujeres. Take a chance and randomly hit a blog on the blogs by women blogroll (how many times can i say blog) and see what you get!
Anyway, here's what I learned this week.... republicans like to storm off tv sets when challenged...that it's good to hide out for a month, especially when more than half the people think you suck...intelligent design is as stupid as it gets...

picture of the day... mexico at sunset

Don't mess with Texas, but we'll mess with DC

Boy, like I said before, Texans just LOVE to mess with DC. This time Henry Bonilla, the Representative for the 23rd District, which covers San Antonio to El Paso, has introduced a bill HR 3525 to rename 16th street into (get this) Ronald Reagan Blvd. What the fuck?! 16th street is a major throughfare that starts at the White House (1600 Pennsylvania) and it goes up to Maryland. It's this city's version of Main Street. It runs through diverse neighborhoods like Adams Morgan (Latino neighborhood), U Street (African American neighborhood), Dupont Circle (Gay enclave)... Y'know the people that really benefited from his policies. I live 2 blocks from 16th street and 2 miles from the White House (yeah, I checked) and this, of course, infuriates me. I despise how these out of towners impose their shit on us. I don't get this preoccupation with Reagan. It's like a cult. Remember the funeral? Hours of that on TV. Nancy and the casket? Now, that's a great actress!

And yet again I cannot say anything, because I am not a constituent. What right does Bonilla have to do this? He's not even a member of the subcomittee that covers the District. If this city was primarily a white city, would this happen? My bet we would be a state a long time ago. Anyway, seems like dumbass Bonilla might be running for the Senate (god help you Texas) so this would look good for the folks in Jeff Davis county. So yet again, I ask those in his district (you know who you are), email the pendejo.

school jitters

I'm starting school again after 3 yrs off. This time I'm getting my doctorate in psychology. Funny, I know I want to do this, but as usual, I have doubts about doing this. This is big committment, mentally, physically, emotionally not to mention financially. Someone asked me why am I doing this if I already have a master's degree. Mostly it's practical, I can do a lot more with a doctorate in Psychology. I couldn't find anything in dc with a masters that wasn't social work. No offense to the MSW's out there, but that's not my cup of tea. To a smaller degree, it's a personal goal. I wanted to see if I can do it. Apply, get in, and finish. I suppose my family influenced me. Not the way you think. My parents, god love em, weren't that supportive. Mostly due to the language/immigrant/cultural differences. They were too busy working 12 hour shifts in factories to go to teacher's conferences, or to presentations. They were(are) old school mexican catholic traditionalists, valuable work to them was with your hands. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful to my parents. They worked hard, gave us all we needed. I have friends/cousins my age who spent most of their childhoods in the fields. I can't blame my parents for not having the tools that they never had to begin with.
I also think the statistics influenced me. Let me explain. We are over 41 million people, 14% of the population but only 7% of Latinos have a bachelors degree, 2% a masters' and less than one percent (.83 to be exact) have a professional/doctorate degree. To compare, almost 20% of whites and 10% of African-Americans have a BA. Who have the advanced degrees? Nine percent of whites and 5% of blacks have a masters or more. I know they are only numbers, but they predict the future. Sometimes it's overwhelming...we are not going into school, and if we are, we are being siphoned into a community college track. I suppose I can blame the corrupt educational system that keeps brown and black people perpetually behind. But it's more than that. It's the false meritocracy boot-strap story we tell children. If you go to school, and get good grades and get a degree you will do well. Is that really true? How will you ever "do well" if you are incarcerated or tracked to a less than stellar school? How do you do well if wealth and resources are set up to keep those in power (white people) on the top.
Sad to say, I think more than education will even this up.

A little makeup goes a long way

Halloween comes early!

mind of a mediocre comic

When I heard that Comedy Central was giving a Latino comic his own prime time show, I was excited to learn that there will be another raza comic trying to add a little more flavor to a banal medium. Sadly, the Mind of Mencia wastes the opportunity to highlight the absurdity of racism and american culture. At best, his comedy is shallow. But mostly his comedy is bigoted. He says he is "an equal opportunity offender". Just because you make fun of everyone doesn't make you funny. What makes his comedy offensive and not funny and Chappelle's comedy brilliant is that Chappelle brings the viewer along for the ride, Mencia isolates you. He riffs about Muslims being stupid for what it feels about half the show. Another segment was horrifying, he was joking about a real incident when LA cops tried to catch a runaway emu...he says "It's a bird. It can't fly! Why don't you tell the black people that there's a giant chicken on the loose, and two minutes later we'll have a bucket of big-ass wings?" Like aren't we over that shit like 30 yrs ago?
There is no insight in this show-it's cynical and angry. He's a right-winger's dream...a brown man making racist jokes. In fact, the only people he doesn't make fun with such vitriol are whites. Maybe I just don't get it, maybe I am like he says "sensitive" but when a latino calls himself a "beaner" with no social insight, the joke's on him.

wild about harry

I finally finished the latest installment of the Harry Potter series. This book is more emotionally mature and darker than the others. The characters are now in a post-9-11 er..voldemort environment, with the ministry sending out "how to protect yourself from voldemort" manuals, random attacks from dementors, there's heightened security, and general paranoia. He starts the school year with alot on his mind, his godfather dead, unsure about what to do about his future, and a prophecy to live up to. The books mature as Harry does, what interested him in the first few books are no longer at the forefront. He is just like any other kid but he lives in a world not of his choosing. Poor Harry...he faces puberty, romance, struggles with authority, standardized tests, death of loved ones and an evil overlord that is out to get him! The only thing I ask is that the last installment of the series doesn't have Voldemort saying something like "harry i am your father"...


picture of the day...
miami in november...

A week in 7 words

Rove, Roberts, London, Iraq, hangings, microwaves, Mecca ...ugh, my head hurts .

I think I am going to read the latest Harry Potter book this weekend. At least I know that is fiction.

Picture of the day...
Central Park in the summer

neon wonderland

fabulous las vegas
I just got back from my first trip to Las Vegas. My impression? It was a wonderland of extremes. Everything about this city is geared to exceed your limits, push your buttons, expand your boundaries. I thought it was wonderful and at the same time discomforting. It is a city where indulgences celebrated and encouraged. Whether your addictions are food, money or sex it's all here for you to partake. I'm glad that I visited this place in my 30's. I think I could've taken to the excesses quite easily if I were younger. I enjoyed every hot sweltering minute. With the exception of 90 minutes at Hoover dam that can be best described "infernal", we didn't spend alot of time outside. With temperatures reaching 120 degrees, you can understand why.
We spent most of the time eating, gambling, shows, site seeing and shopping (in that order). We saw 2 shows that were really good. The first show was called the Havana Night Club. It's billed as the "show that Cuba doesn't want you to see". With token mentions to "freedom" the show wasn't about why the cast defected to the US last year. I felt a sense of longing from the show, a sense that dancing and singing was all they had to connect themselves to the old country.
We celebrated my gf's birthday with a fabulous dinner and saw Jubilee, which can be best described at the campiest, gayest show I ever saw. It had something for everyone: breasts, leather codpieces, dance routines, the Titanic, and Bob Mackie gowns. My gay gene was very satisfied.
I am not much of a gambler, the riskiest game I played was Monopoly. So to say I am a novice is an understatement. I figure I would play the slots, I mean how hard is it to pull the lever, or in most cases push the button. Much to my gf's dismay, I just didn't see the value of placing maximum bets. I decided to try my hand on the roulette table, since at least I can lose my money to a dealer instead of a machine. Despite the fact that I didn't know what I doing and was breaking protocol and etiquette rules right and left I won 100 bucks! Good thing I knew when to stop.
I'm glad that we only had a few days to spend in Vegas. I am exhausted. My senses have been overstimulated, my wallet has been slimmed down while my stomach has expanded. I liked the intensity of the city but I am glad to be back to DC, where things are not so intense.
I am sad I won't be seeing my gf for another month. I'm thinking to taking another 4 day weekend to SA sometime soon...I miss hanging out with my gf and our buddies.

A Picture Share!

The Hoover dam...it hit 120 degrees today!

Mandate goes poof

Mandate goes poof

via kos

here are some highlights
59% believe the country is going on the wrong track
56% think the Bush is mishandling the economy
56% disapprove Bush's handling of the social issues
59% disapprove handling of Iraq
62% not concerned about a terrorist attack

Bush got over 90% (Gallup) after 9/11 so that means that he LOST 50% from the rest of the country.

Clinton left office with an approval rating of 62%

Makes one wanna smile..

Vegas, Baby

I am going to Las Vegas tommorow night to celebrate my GF's birthday. I never been to Vegas and I can't wait to see the bright lights, the cheesy shows, and the abundance of Elvii. It will be a nice break from the bright lights, cheesy shows and the abundance of Evil that is Washington.

One thing that bothers me about living in DC is that we are one big laboratory that congress tries out things that they would never get away with in their home states and to shamelessly pander to powerful issue lobbies that pump alot of money into their campaigns.. For instance, a bill has been introduced to repeal the Firearms and Control Regulations Act of 1975 introduced in the Senate by none other than Ms. Congeniality (she's second to the right) herself-Kay Bailey Hutchinson . She's sad that we are being denied our second constitutional rights so she decided to fix it. Hey Kay, can we have the right to represent ourselves first? This bill will make it easier for anyone to carry weapons, even semiautomatics- when they are on the metro, or on the bus or when they are walking the dog. Kay "Go-Horns" Hutchinson, says that she needs to carry a gun in the District in order to feel safe when she's working in Congress. I didn't realize that Congress was so scary, republicans run the senate, the house, the judiciary, the presidency, who are they afraid of? Sadly, since I am a resident of DC, my voice means nothing, I am asking my friends in Texas and beyond to contact Special Kay telling her what you think about this crazy law. Seriously, do we need a faded, aquanet using, botox injecting, ex-cheerleader senator carrying guns?

You probably know about the bombings in London, so I won't go into to it too much. I know London is an ocean away but I get a little creeped out when things like this happen...I use the public transport everyday, most of the time I am on the phone with my gf or I am doing a crossword puzzle or staring out the window...the last thing I am thinking about is whether things are gonna blow up. *sigh* We were in NYC this weekend and I am amazed how easily this shit can happen here. Anyone can leave a backpack or bag under a seat and set if off (like they did in Spain). After the bombings there, I got a little nervous riding the metro. But I get more nervous when I see armed guards in the metro stations. Sometimes I have to put things into perspective. The odds are greater of dying from a venomous plant or insect (1 in 49,013) than a terrorist attack (1 in 88,000) . Great, another thing to worry about...

July 4th at the National Mall. 

Yay for the spurs! The good guys won! Finally something I can cheer about. Watching the series made me think that this was a symbolic battle between US vs THEM. US being the united states (white people, straights, republicans, men, etc) vs. them (Europe, Mexicans, Gays, feminists, Democrats, take your pick). A polyglot team, from a very brown city, some of them “foreigners” playing untraditionally (unamerican), beat an American team, with red white and blue uniforms, from a blue collar city, in a rusty state, that was known for “kicking ass” inside the court and out in the stands. The American team with all their swagger and gold belts never took the international team that seriously. US got beaten playing their own game.

It was nice to see Ginobili’s number 20 on the back of (mostly latino) kids in my DC neighborhood. .


I am happy to report I got into a Doctoral program in DC. It’s a PsyD program that’s APA approved, (I wouldn’t have applied if it wasn’t). I had an entire day of interviews last week, with professors and students. I was in a room with 10 other people vying for 5 spots. Although I was a little nervous, I felt I had a good chance. I start in September.

My GF is coming to town on Tuesday to celebrate our one year seeing each other. I still can’t believe that it’s her and it’s been a year. She’s bringing her niece and nephew this time around. They’re teenagers so I’m sure it’s not the coolest thing to be hanging around with their lesbian aunt and her girlfriend, but we’re going to New York this weekend. I figure give them some cab fare and let them loose.

who doesn't love a random cameraphone picture of two men in drag? 

He flies through the air with the greatest of ease....


that was an awesome game. Horry seems to be the clincher for every team he played with. To my Lakers loving buddies (you know who you are)...who's sorry now?

It's been a week since Pride. It seems like every year it gets more and more watered down. Less flash, less fabulous. This year was especially lame. I particpated in the parade which goes around the dupont circle area. I was with the Lesbian Services Program contingient, a really good program but is sorely lacking in resources. What it didn't lack were white women and their babies. I know we are in the midst of a queer baby boom, but really do we have to copy everything the hets do? Iam being facetious of cource, but I get this sinking feeling that this quest for normalcy will be our downfall. Those same topless radical lesbians who were walking down to the White House in the dyke march back in 93, are now pushing their strollers down Pennsylvania ave. When did maternity, marriage and mortages become so important. Are we merely regressing towards the mean? Do we just want to be just like everyone else?
I think the movement has become incoherent and shallow. Why do we fight for marriage if we live in a culture that doesn't even acknowledge that gay people have relationships in the first place? Marriage is one form of a relationship. Gay people have the freedom to develop and define relationships. That's one of reasons we are here. I'm not coming down on marriage, I just think that we are fighting for the wrong things. Gays and lesbians are likely to be fired, to make less than straight people, to have a lower education, to be underinsured, etc, etc. How is marriage going to help with that?

My gf and I had a great week. We went to the shakespeare in the park, their performance of Midsummer's Night Dream was a good one. I liked that the cast was multiracial but sometimes the postmodern sets and acting kinda wears on me. Maybe I watched too much of the Zeffirelli's version of Romeo & Juliet. Classical and charming. Compare that with the 90's version of R&J. Remember the one with Leo and the chick from My So called Life? Lame and irritating. Ted Montague? Whatever.

Anyway, we spent sometime at Monticello, toured the house and gardens. Right away you can tell the difference in class between Washington's Mt. Vernon and Monticello. Jefferson was house rich and cash poor and by the time he died, he was penniless. We had a mini-tour of the slave quarters, known as the Mulberry Row. The guide was awkwardly precise in his assessment of life as a slave. He called them "enslaved laborers" which made me think of how Jefferson might have called the slaves. My guess is wasn't "my enslaved laborers". The estate was beautiful with green hills and well cared for gardens. The house tour was short but really informative. I came out feeling that his life was a little more complicated than others of his time. On one side he wrote that King George "carried slavery into this hemisphere" and then owned over 150 slaves. There was no mention of Sally Hemmings and the fact that there are decendants of TJ who are black. I could go on and on about Jefferson, slavery, Sally Hemmings and his legacy, but eh, I'm not in the mood.

I'm stoked. My girlfriend is visiting this week for a few days. When she's here, things seems a little brighter, a little easier. I like the way she makes me feel. We were going to go to NYC, but I'd rather spend some alone time with her. Besides, there's alot to do here (I just have to figure out what).

Boo ya! The Spurs rock! They won the second game at Phoenix, which is foreboding for the Suns, since it's nearly impossible to come back from behind when you lost at home (hee, hee)




I haven't said anything about the Benedict XIV, because 1) I was tired about all the brouhaha and 2) I was expecting a recount. Whereas JP2 looked like a kindly uncle who would take you aside and tell you stories about the old country, B16 seems like the crotchety old man who lives across the street and yell obscenties in a foreign language at you and your friends. He looks alot like the emperor in Star Wars...doesn't he?




He occupied the office formally known as the Inquisition. We all know how that office was used around the world and thru the centuries to undermine, eradicate and discredit dissention, debate and difference. (How's that for alliteration!)

His election is not going to bring me back to a church that villifies gays, santcifies prejudice, and is becoming more and more fundamental.

Well, we had an eventful week (sorta). With planes flying 3 miles (!) from the white house and people running for their lives, breaking a sweat and pumps, I was glad that our fearless leader was working out.

"Nothing says performance artist like a naked fat dyke in a Spandex^tm sack."

I went to Baltimore with some friends this Saturday to see the Charm City Kitty Club Collective perform in a night of art, music and dance. I was impressed with Baltimore's girls. The crowd was diverse and energetic. What a difference 40 miles makes! I really miss the grassroots arts scene. DC may have a great music scene but it lacks organizations like this. I was very struck by the performance of Beth Smulyan, a fat activist/performance artist. In her performance, she stripped herself naked and asked members of the audience to paint her.

The performance was different in that she was at least 400 lbs. The audience had to face their prejudices almost immediately. Her point of the performance was that as women, especially fat women, don't own our bodies. Our bodies are subject to the evaluation of others. The diets, the vertical stripes, the stomach stapling are all about who has control of our bodies.
She made the connection that no matter what the size, women will never be he owner of her own body if we buy (literally) into the the beauty myth.
I have always struggled with the way I look. Who doesn't? I think it is easier to come out as a lesbian, a Latina, a child of immigrants, working class, even a harness wearer than coming out as a fat girl. Fat is the smoking of the 21st century. Fat is dangerous, fat is evil, fat will kill you and the people you love. We are so fatphobic that children as young as 9 are having stomach stapling.
In a nation that celebrates excess and greed, the super size and the hummer, we despise the very culture that we have created.

Little picayune things…

I haven't been particularly erudite and/or insightful lately. Which is probably a good thing. I spent most of the weekend enjoying the spectacular weather DC has been having. I spent it at Dupont circle, which is the closest to the Castro that DC will ever get. The dupont area is a historically gay neighborhood but it’s changing into a place where straight girls get their hair done and walk their little dogs. Although we queers may have the prescience to move out of an increasingly homogenized place into someplace less than desirable and then make it fabulous, it seems we don’t forget where our roots are…in DC it’s dupont circle. I decided to walk over and enjoy the day, perhaps reading a good book… But browsing for a book became an ordeal. A book about the holocaust? No thanks. How about a crime novel that’s 600 pages long? Eh, I’ll wait until the movie comes out. Poetry perhaps? I didn’t want to think today. Nothing jumped out and said “read me!” I didn’t even get the Sunday paper, which is my usual thing to do. I just didn’t feel like reading about Bush in Russia, or the fact the Iraq is superfucked up, or that Kansas decided to go apeshit about evolution.
So I ended up sitting on a bench that encircles the fountain and watched people for a couple hours. It seems like I wasn’t the only one. There were all kinds of people there today, there were the readers-they take a book/magazine/newspaper to the park and read. They don’t look up, they don’t talk to their neighbors, they just read. Then there were the cruisers; they check out the other guys who are walking their dogs (what’s with the itty bitty dogs and gay men?), or the joggers, or the skaters, or the bike riders, or the guys with their girlfriends…you get the picture. Then there are the homeless who make the circle their homebase. I particularly enjoyed watching the homeless lady with leathery skin wearing an elaborately embroidered bikini top ask the man next to me if he’d like to buy some handmade jewelry, which she never displayed. Mostly there were a lot of people like me, alone, watching the scene continuously change in front of them. It made me think about our need to be accompanied even though we are alone. Even though I didn’t talk to anyone today (other than my girlfriend), I still felt like I was connected somehow. In a city that has everyone in permanent transition, the need to have some human connection is fostered in places like Dupont circle. I don’t know if the city fathers intended to have places like the circle be a public recharge zone, I’m glad it was today.


You gotta love this dame! Betty, you are my hero!



Lauren Bacall with Larry King.

KING: Wait a minute. Are you a liberal?

BACALL: I'm a liberal. The L word!

KING: Egads!

BACALL: I love it. Being a liberal is the best thing on earth you can be. You are welcoming to everyone when you're a liberal. You do not have a small mind. Little picayune things. You want to welcome everyone. Liberal, little picayune thing.

KING: You're open to...

BACALL: You want to welcome everyone. Liberal, I'm a Roosevelt. I'm a -- and I hear anyone say anything about FDR...

KING: You're a new dealer, fair dealer.

BACALL: I'm a total -- and I was a kid and I'm total, total, total liberal and proud of it. And I think it's outrageous to say the l word. I mean, excuse me. They should be damn lucky that they were liberals here. Liberals gave more to the population of the United States than any other group.

KING: Well, Social Security.

BACALL: Everything.

[...]

KING: Very well said. Spoken as a true liberal.

BACALL: Don't knock the liberals.

KING: I'm not.

Well, I'm back from a great visit to San Antonio. And I am tired. The flight back took forever, perhaps it was the three hour unexpected layover in the "international" airport in Jackson, Mississippi.
I spent an entire week in San Antonio with my girlfriend and my friends. I had an awesome time. The weather was spectacular, no rain, no infernal heat... it was perfect. I usually do three things for Fiesta: Cornyation, NIOSA, King William. My girlfriend added a 2 night stay at the Menger Hotel and my friends added the Battle of the Flowers parade. I'm not one for parades in the hot sun, but I couldn't say no to free tickets. Maybe it was the lack of water or the fact that the floats were uninspiring but I wasn't too impressed. Niosa was crowded as usual, but any claustophobia we were experiencing was counteracted with alot of food and drink. I love King William Fair, which is the unofficial Gay Pride festival. No fiesta is complete without a visit to the Bonham Exchange, which is the grand dame of SA gay clubs. I wonder how much money I spent over the years at the place. I shutter to think.

I spent all week with my girlfriend, who is as gracious as she is loving. I am reminded how lucky I am to have her in my life. She is wonderful. (gush) I have to say that this is the most mature, loving, open and fun relationship I have ever been in. She takes life seriously enough to laugh at the good parts and laughs with me when my neuroses du jour come up. (more gushing). I can't wait to be with her permanently.

So, I am back to the grind. Washington is beautiful in the springtime. The trees are turning green, the air is crisp and cool. It's going to be a nice spring. I live DC, it's a great town, but it's a transient place. The only things that stay here are the monuments. I may have not been born and raised there, but San Antonio is as close to home that I will ever have.

It was a lazy, relaxing weekend. Just the kind I like. I spent most of the weekend cleaning, reading and playing with my Ipod (aka "my precious"). Yes, I got it back. Props to the folks at apple for sending it back to me within the week. I was worried that I couldn't take with me this week when I am going out of town.

I'm planning to go to San Antonio for a week to see my girlfriend, spend some time with my friends, party at Fiesta and see my parents (all in that order). I try to cram in a year's worth of catching up in a space of a week, needless to say I am scheduled!
Fiesta, you ask? I know that the festival was orginally a celebration of the oppression and colonialism of brown people. It was to honor the "heroes" of the Alamo and San Jacinto. How does a self-respecting Chicana justify going to a party originally started by white people to honor slave owners and tax cheats? Are we celebrating our own destruction? Our own assimilation? I suppose I can be a relativist (and thus getting off the hook) and say that each person has his/her own answer. I go because it ceased to be about White people and their power a long time ago. Those were hollow victories that the blue-haired ladies of the daughters of the texas republic were celebrating. There may be blonde haired girls on floats with silly titles, but they are anachronisms, a pathetic echo of empty glory. The celebration is about the unstoppable and inevitable merging of cultures, the triumph of polyglots, the blurring of social, genders and sexual lines. That's what I'll be celebrating this week.

Well, he's dead and finally he's buried. Did anyone find it a little disconcerting about the fact that the pope was out there for several days and wasn't embalmed? To quote a mourner "he looked a little haggard". Uhm, yeah. I have to admit, I was facinated with the whole ritual of the mourning and the funeral. As I was flipping through the channels, I came across the funeral broadcast. I was mesmerized, with the latin, the incense and the solemn pomp. I read this great article by Hans Kung, a Catholic theologian who was silenced for his critical analysis. The church is as sick as the pope was. Frank Rich of NYT has a great editorial on the media and it's coverage. Read this funny entry about the pope and his corpse. Smile for the camera!



Speaking of dead things, my ipod has stopped working I've only had it for a few months and I can't get to play anything. *sigh* I tried everything and it still doesn't work. Funny my life was fine before I got it, now I can't live without it. I lost over 1000 songs *double sigh*. Now, I have to send it off and wait for a long time to get it fixed. I suppose I will have to listen to the conversations on the bus for now. Another sign that the Ipod has jumped the shark.

Cherry blossoms
I went to see the cherry blossoms this weekend. They were beautiful. The entire tidal basin was frosted with white and pink. It was the perfect weekend to see them, the weather was wonderful (cool in the 70's) and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. There were thousands of people there, taking alot of pictures. Here's a nice pic of the cherry blossoms.


cherry blossoms

He's Dead! No, he's still alive! (nauseating news coverage for 14 hours). He's Dead! (then more nauseating news coverage)

I must thank the recently departed Supreme Pontiff, Archbishop and Metropolitan of Rome,Vicar of Christ, etc, etc, for cutting short the "Pope Death Watch 2005 Show" with Paula Zahn & Andersen Cooper with token Euro-accented Christiane Anampour"(with few commercial interruptions!). It was getting ridiculous.

There's alot out there on the death of pope and his legacy. So I won't go into it too much.
As a lapsed Catholic (aren't we all?) I look at the death of the pope, like much of his reign and religion, with much mixed feelings. I have no regrets being raised as a Catholic. It taught me to be patient and kind to others and to be responsible for your actions. But most importantly I'd say it also made me a more cynical and critical person. I stopped going to church when I was 18. I went on and off for several years after that, mostly to make my parents happy. The pew kept getting colder and colder over the years. The prayers became as hollow and empty as the icons on the wall. For me, the notion of God, or anything bigger than myself was just that, a notion, an idea. Nothing more than that. So for a while I flirted with atheism, but then I noticed that atheism was as dogmatic as any other religion. Ultimately, I became comfortable with a quasi-agnostic view of god and life in general. I am at a time in my life in which the question of belief is becoming more important to me. Perhaps I am getting older, or perhaps I need a little more meaning in my life. I suppose it's not the answer to the question of belief that is important, but living in the question.

that's me
I've been playing with the posting of pics on this. So this is my first pic online. That's all you get of me. Heh.

I've been trying to get into my site at diaryland for a while now and I got a little frustrated. Anyway, since I've had a blogger account for a couple of years, I might as well use it and enter the blogger revolution (tm).

I attended a funeral last week of Wanda Alston. I met Wanda a couple of times at parties, but I knew her partner much better. (her partner is fellow member of a board that I am on). She was murdered by her neighbor, who said in court documents that he "vaguely remembered" that he stabbed her to death. He was high on crack. But instead of focusing on her death, which was brutal and senseless and is an example of what is wrong with this society. I'd rather say something of what I learned as I sat in the crowded church. Alston was a DC activist who became head of DC's LGBT affairs office, an office that the mayor created because of her. Essentially, she was the face/voice of LGBT's to the larger community. She was a recovering cocaine addict (the fact that she died by cocaine, is one of the many sad ironies of her life) who buried a sister, several years ago who was also murdered. She found the love of her life and was going to be married to Stacy next year. During the service, we were asked to read the obituary printed in the program. It had the standard biographical sketch (born in X, went to School at Y, liked to do Z) . I noticed that there was no mention of her job with the city and no mention of her life with her partner. It read like she was never a lesbian, never someone who had to fight for her rights to live and to love, it read like she never lived. One simple paragraph... Although, in every speech (there were several) there was mention of her LGBT work and of her partner, it seemed like she was cheated of her identity. Her family, so I heard later, deleted sections of the obit that referenced her life in DC, any mention of her being a Lesbian was erased for the record. As I was sitting in the crowded pew, I started to cry. I cried for the sheer irony of it all. I cried for the life that Stacy will never have with Wanda, I cried for yet another activist cut down in her prime, I cried for Wanda being out of the closet for most of her life and then being pushed back into a smaller, constricted container, never to come out of it again. I cried all the way home.