that's me
I've been playing with the posting of pics on this. So this is my first pic online. That's all you get of me. Heh.

I've been trying to get into my site at diaryland for a while now and I got a little frustrated. Anyway, since I've had a blogger account for a couple of years, I might as well use it and enter the blogger revolution (tm).

I attended a funeral last week of Wanda Alston. I met Wanda a couple of times at parties, but I knew her partner much better. (her partner is fellow member of a board that I am on). She was murdered by her neighbor, who said in court documents that he "vaguely remembered" that he stabbed her to death. He was high on crack. But instead of focusing on her death, which was brutal and senseless and is an example of what is wrong with this society. I'd rather say something of what I learned as I sat in the crowded church. Alston was a DC activist who became head of DC's LGBT affairs office, an office that the mayor created because of her. Essentially, she was the face/voice of LGBT's to the larger community. She was a recovering cocaine addict (the fact that she died by cocaine, is one of the many sad ironies of her life) who buried a sister, several years ago who was also murdered. She found the love of her life and was going to be married to Stacy next year. During the service, we were asked to read the obituary printed in the program. It had the standard biographical sketch (born in X, went to School at Y, liked to do Z) . I noticed that there was no mention of her job with the city and no mention of her life with her partner. It read like she was never a lesbian, never someone who had to fight for her rights to live and to love, it read like she never lived. One simple paragraph... Although, in every speech (there were several) there was mention of her LGBT work and of her partner, it seemed like she was cheated of her identity. Her family, so I heard later, deleted sections of the obit that referenced her life in DC, any mention of her being a Lesbian was erased for the record. As I was sitting in the crowded pew, I started to cry. I cried for the sheer irony of it all. I cried for the life that Stacy will never have with Wanda, I cried for yet another activist cut down in her prime, I cried for Wanda being out of the closet for most of her life and then being pushed back into a smaller, constricted container, never to come out of it again. I cried all the way home.

Wow, I forgot I had this blog...I usually use diaryland. It's cheesy but I've been using it for a couple of years.
what can I say? I suppose start off when I left. I am almost 36 now, live in DC, work for a job that is mind numbing and soul sucking. I am seeing someone who lives in Texas and I am going back to graduate school next year (I hope). I am sickened by Bush and this country going the way of christofacism. I am glad that I am in a very blue state(it's a city). So blue that 96% of the residents voted for Kerry. We hate our neighbor at 16th and Penn. I'm scared that people are more afraid of people like Obama than Osama. What can you do other than stay involved and work hard next year. Well, I have to decide what I should do about this blog...decisions, decisions...

Got a little angry yesterday/my car was broken into/my ashtray filled with change/was stolen/first response was why my ashtray/maybe they were in a hurry/couldn't take the radio/maybe they knew I had money stashed there/now there's a gaping hole/reminding me that someone invaded my space/took my gf to dinner/we had argument about it/I was pretty angry driving to the place/I was ranting/angry/felt violated again/frustrated/then said that I hope that beer was tasty/I hope that fucking homeless bum drunk enjoyed his 2 bucks in change/my gf/who is the fairest/even tempered/principled person I know/called me on what I said/told me that I cannot assume this person was homeless/drunk/bum/male/I stereotyped this person/who stole/told her that in our neighborhood/ homeless men walk our street everyday/homeless shelter 5 block away/saw somebody piss in our parking lot a month ago/odds are that this person was what I said they were/at dinner/she told me that my statements were classist/didn't make sense to her/how can I say those things/I'm no better than those republicans who/jail first ask questions later/what's the person's circumstances/why did this person steal/what are the systemic oppressions that he or she faced/told her I don't care/they didn't care about me/didn't know what my circumstances are/I was still angry/I worked hard for that measly change/go to work everyday and deal with bullshit/deal with the small humiliations of life/did they know that this was the 4th time someone broke in/did they know how shitty I felt when I came home/did they know that this was going to cause an argument with my gf/on class/assumptions/biases/I felt that she didn't care about my feelings/of feeling violated/feeling hopeless/that we can't never feel safe/but she's right/we do live in relative comfort/have jobs/cars/digital cable/able to go to dinner/health insurance/have to luxury to discuss/our classism/biases/assumptions/so what do 2 dollars or so in change/matter/in light of the fact/that women's rights to control their bodies/is in jeopardy/that innocent people are executed/that people do not have homes/people with mental illness/do not have access to care/that people with alcoholism/drug addictions are put in jail/instead of treatment programs/that the selected president/wants more money for the rich/as more people are getting poorer/does that matter/in the scheme of things/how do I reconcile/my working class ethic/ working at a corporation/pay bills/keep food on the table/roof over head/buying things/and getting/angry at the system/that oppresses/because I'm female/of color/lesbian/oppress others because they are poor/homeless/mentally ill/will I ever reconcile the dichotomies/that I deal with everyday/I advocate for social justice/and yet get paid a corporate salary/struggling with capital punishment/yet believe that the legal system is corrupt/getting angry at this asshole who stole my stuff/and yet not placing assumptions/this is a reminder of the injustices of this society/on all different levels/personal/political/societal/cultural/the ones we experience and place on each other

quien soy?
31 year old/chicago born and bred but now a born again tejana chicana/psych grad student who wonders if theory will ever reflect my reality/witch in training/bitch for life/healthy contempt for authority/looking for utopia but will negociate /in a relationship with a wonderful woman who taught me that love indeed can save the world

feb1 first blog.
working on my list
post later