Sunday, January 29, 2006

The HELL word

Memo to Showtime:
Here are some of my observations (mostly complaints) about the show you call "controversial". It isn't. It's as controversial as the a cup of latte being served at the Planet. It's about a group of mythical lesbians in LA who have complicated and apparently food-free lives. Let them eat something. I bet Jenny would love to eat a burger. Don't get me wrong, the women are gorgeous. Jennifer Beals looking pretty, pretty good in her post-flashdance-post-modern self. But really, can you have her have sex sometimes? Speaking of sex, where is it? Did I miss it? I mean, Shane doesn't even get any. Oh, that's right, it's been three years, you're due for the ubiquitous lesbian bed death that we all are afraid of. Sigh.
Bringing in the androgynous Max does make things interesting, but why did she have to be hooked up with the girl with borderline personality disorder? Seriously, I was happier with the illusions to the circus, or the carnival, or whatever last year was about. Please don't make Pam Grier (what did she do to her face?), into the token straight perimenopausal woman who can't get any. She deserves to get some. And what's all this about the Alice and the tennis player who probably has breast cancer (because someone in the show has to!) I have to say Alice's character is about as close to reality that I have seen, other than Carmen, who of course is representative of all Mexicans. It's LA and there's only ONE (quasi)Mexican on the show? I know it's not reality, but the law of averages, y'know? Finally, can Tina be killed off or something? I'm sure the kid would be better off having Bette being the mom, than the whiny, selfish and annoying Tina. If you can do only one thing, please for the love of god, get BETTY off the soundtrack. What blood-promise did you make in order to have them be the music for the show? Girls with sashes..or long lashes, or whatever the hell that song is...please erase if from my mind before it eats away the cortex I have left.
I'll patiently await your response next week.