I've been running ragged lately. School, work, relationship...it's been hard trying to juggle everything at once, and keep on top of things. Is it because I just can't do everything anymore because I am older? Damn, that doesn't sound good. I feel something has to give. It can't be my school, and it's not gonna be my relationship either. I want to quit my job, but I can't afford it. *sigh* I won't get a choice by the end of the summer, since I have my first practicum starting in the fall. I will definitely not work full time then. I am amazed I did what I did during my masters. I worked 40 hrs, I went to school, had a 20 hr practicum and kept a relationship. I think I paid a price for that. I feel this time around, I need to focus on what's more important. I come from a background that just doesn't quit jobs easily...you stick it out, work harder no matter what, because according to what I was taught, you are defined by what you produced. Fucked up work ethics keep me in a job I find soul sucking. I have friends who switch jobs all the time and seem not to worry about that. There's always another one, they say, why worry? Maybe I am too intense to leave it to the universe. How can I trust something that is chaotic in the first place? *sigh* Well, if I had more time, I would wax neurotically about my place in the world, but I have studying to do. Here's a picture of the night...
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
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