Is the Spanish word for ‘dog days’ of summer. You can literally feel it in the air. Muggy, hot, steamy, the sun is hazy and relenting. We just got a heat wave that was intense and a crime wave that just give people another reason to stay inside. The streets aren’t as lively, the traffic is slower, even the tourists look a like they would rather be somewhere else.
We hit the dog days of this administration; with worthless meetings and a hollow leader who is memorable for his lack of table manners and personal space. We have a war going on in the Middle East, a human tragedy of Iraq and a threatening North Korea…but we are worried about gay marriages. We are a lost people, still reliving the attacks of 9/11, unfocused and depressed. America, you have PTSD. We’re like the Vietnam vets who still wear their vests full of patches and work at the convenience store; takes antidepressants and drinks, who never fulfilled our potential, who can snap at any moment.
Canicula… I’ve entered my own personal dog days. I am so tired, I have a full load of summer classes, just started a new job at the children’s hospital working as a psychometrician. I am ending my other job really, really soon. So, 40 hrs a week of work and 3 grad courses, with a 2 weeks break in august. I sometimes think I am too old for this, working really hard, hardly having any free time. Then my girlfriend reminds me what it’s all about. I will say she is my saving grace. Always there to give me a kick in the pants! Thankfully, we do have some fun together. We had a nice time on the 4th of July—DC is a great place for the holiday, saw the fireworks with our friends at the national mall. My GF’s birthday was a week ago and we spent it at Rehoboth Beach, a cute little beach town in Delaware. It has an old fashioned boardwalk, nice little boutiques and lots and lots of gays and lesbians. Not bad for Delaware! Anyway, it was nice to get away and spend it with my girl.
Canicula… I recently learned that my ex-girlfriend is getting married, not a Massachusetts kind of marriage but a run of a mill heterosexual one. My first reaction wasn’t one really. I was kind of ambivalent about it. Then I started to think about it... I should have stayed ambivalent. I won’t get too personal (I do have homework to do) but I was reminded about this essay I read by Carla Trujillo, called interestingly enough “till men do us part”. I remember reading this during the relationship with my ex and having a feeling of foreshadowing. I remember reading the last paragraph
“ It’s been over a year since I wrote that letter to Becky. I haven’t heard a word from her. I don’t know if she got married and had the baby she always dreamed of. I don’t know if her father and her sweet grandma are still with us. I don’t know what her nephew is learning in school or what’s happening with her sister and brother. I don’t know anything anymore about Becky or her family I once adopted as mine. I’ve accepted the fact that Becky does not want me in her life. What’s really hard to accept is why.”I closed the book and felt a chill down my spine.
3 comments:
just saw an ex the other day at jamba juice.
at the time, one of her parting shots was, "yea, well you'd have the perfect body if you lost some weight." this was 6 years ago, when i'd just started an office job & was in my late-20s & she was in her very early-20s.
well, well, well. when i saw her & her shapely ass, thighs, etc. etc., it took the best of me to keep from saying, "metabolism sucks, doesn't it." :p
Wow homegirl. That was a good post. Gave me lots to think about - society, relationships, etc... As a het and as an ally...
Great post. It's important to pause every once in a while in the midst of our frenetic daily lives and count our blessings. Your girlfriend truly loves you, it's obvious - she enables you to continue on when it feels like you're burning the candle at both ends. Lucky you!
Funny you mention ex's. I recently got dumped, and I've been having a hard time dealing with it. (It's never easy, I know.) That line, "I've accepted the fact that Becky does not want me in her life. What's really hard to accept is why" is what's been running through my mind for the last month and a half.
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